Everybody Ought to Have a Joe

Posted on May 20, 2013 10:15 am

Read a story the other day about how a wealthy Manhattan family would hire a handicapped person to take to Disney World with them so they could cut to the front of the line.  It suddenly became clear to me why Obama chose Biden as a running mate.  There are all sorts of advantages to having a mentally handicapped fellow on the team.  Like these:

  • The Presidential cavalcade can now use the handicapped parking zones.
  • The Obama’s no longer have to troll the inner city for mentally deficient vagrants to put in the stocks for ridicule during their traditional Quasimodo Mondays.
  • Biden is unlikely to notice that Bo is subtly different every week or so.
  • He is always willing to trade his disability and social security checks for a shiny nickel.
  • Sasha has a cartoon buddy.
  • While his brain don’t work so good, all the rest of his organs are easily transferrable.
  • When Palin comes to visit, Trig will have someone to play with.
  • It’s good to have someone around that Barack can occasionally beat at Old Maid.
  • Barney Frank now has someone in the administration that will voluntarily sit on his knee.
  • Barack has a ready scape goat for his IBS and scatological aromas.
  • It’s nice to have someone in the administration who is always willing to go to bat for Amtrak and light rail.  Biden likes choo-choos.
  • For tax purposes, they can claim Joe as a dependent, and he is none the wiser.
  • He doesn’t mind putting either or both feet in his mouth whenever necessary.
  • He can be an incredibly passionate advocate for abortion because he truly believes you are only harming storks and cabbages.

[Cross posted at Nuking Politics]

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19 Responses to “Everybody Ought to Have a Joe”

  1. bill says:

    And he will never be impeached.

  2. DamnCat says:

    » His impression of Karl in Slingblade is dead on.

  3. whosebone says:

    Your comment about Trig is offensive and out of line

  4. Lactose the Intolerant says:

    @3 I know. Assuming that Joe is as smart as Trig is really demeaning to the Palin family. In actuality, Trig would run circles around Joe, so it isn’t really and ideal play date situation.

  5. jw says:

    he has that whole “we hire the handicapped” thing covered.

  6. walruskkkch says:

    So Biden is kept around to just fill the Government’s diversity quota?

  7. zzyzx says:

    He’s there for comedy relief…much as was Fuzzy Knight, Pat Buttram, and my favorite Gabby Johnson.

  8. burt says:

    Is it just a coincidence that Joe has a son with the same name as the Presidential Dog?

    NAACP

  9. Charon says:

    “When Palin comes to visit, Trig will have someone to play with.”

    Ouch.

  10. Anonymiss says:

    @4 Lactose, I think I know what you’re going for…but…I agree with @9. Just not funny.

  11. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    …but…I agree with @9. Just not funny.

    Hell yeah! Why are you insulting the Palins by insinuating that they’d denigrate themselves by 1) visiting the Bidens, & 2) put their tender child at physical risk by leaving him with Joe?

    Haven’t you read Of Mice and Men? Lenny with the rodent? C’mon now. Joe’s even dangerous at nappy time. He could roll over off of his little woven mat and unintentionally crush the poor kid!

    Not cool, man.

  12. TerribleTroy says:

    Francis “psycho” from Stripes

    “And, I’ll tell youse anudder ting! I dont like people touching my stuff!
    Any of youse touch my stuff….and I’LL KILL YA!

    And I dont like people touching me….
    so any of you HOMOS touch me and…….I’ll KILL YA!

    Sgt. to “psycho”

    “LIGHTEN UP FRANCIS”

    Some of you may want to consider taking the Sgt’s Advice. It is obvious that the “expense” of the joke is on Biden. Trig is what he is and will never have full intellectual capacity, to recognize that truth is not wrong, or mean, or offensive, unless one was mocking Trig.

  13. whosebone says:

    Trig is a special needs child, full of love and lust for life and living. Trig can do anything he dreams of doing, and I wish him all the best of everything.
    Given your remark about him Troy, I would guess he has more “intellectual capacity” than you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OT5iU0RcAM

    Feel free to check the link I have posted, or go to youtube and search “Tims Place, Albequerque

  14. Karen says:

    I have to say, I think the Trig comment was out of line. I know you probably didn’t mean it that way but…

  15. TerribleTroy says:

    Ok OK…Ive seen the light. It is completely unreasonable of me to think that individuals born with profound disabilities could have diminished capacity in any way shape or form and it is not only insensitive, but also offensive to speak of such things, especially when it comes to humor. Because they are “just like everybody else” but need to be treated differently than everyone else when it comes to humor.

    You really need to lighten up.

  16. Anonymiss says:

    Lactose is hilarious. He is one of my favorite funny people ever. Humor is subjective. I think the purpose of the comments is to express how one feels about this post’s humor. I did, and so have many others. Lactose, I hope you keep writing zingers that make me fall off of my chair laughing. You, my Snaughty, (http://www.nukingpolitics.com/2013/04/whistle-while-you-work.html) are crazy talented…and I mean that in every sense of the word. :)

  17. Harvey says:

    Lactose – Yeah, I forgot to warn you about that aspect of the audience here. This is a sensitive subject and a lot of regular readers get uncomfortable about “going there” even tangentially.

    If it’s any consolation, I had to find that one out the hard way, too. I hurt a few feelings back in the day when I was riffing off Obama’s “Special Olympics” gaffe on the Tonight Show. I’m a little more circumspect about how I describe liberal idiots these days.

  18. Lactose the Intolerant says:

    Yeah, I can see that. But here is me not worrying too much about it. Since my login still works, I guess it wasn’t an unforgivable slight. It’s not the first time I have unintentionally offended someone, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’m not typically one to walk on eggshells, but I’ll set my filter to the ‘no Trig’ setting for the future. Sorry to anyone if I caused offense. I wasn’t making fun of Trig, just slow Joe. I still maintain that Trig would be a better VP.

  19. whosebone says:

    It’s easy enough to make fun of any of the buffoons in this illegal and corrupt regime without bringing up Trig”s challenges in life.

    Troy and Lactose use the same excuse these socialists use when called out on making fun of someone, “its just a joke”

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