Straight Line of the Day: Michelle Obama’s Plan to Expand Her Anti-Obesity Campaign to Zoos…

Posted on May 20, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

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74 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Michelle Obama’s Plan to Expand Her Anti-Obesity Campaign to Zoos…”

  1. walruskkkch says:

    YGDFT!YLTATSOTE

  2. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    came to an inglorious end when she tried to get a tiger to try some tofu.

  3. Harvey says:

    Didn’t Know Michelle Was a Libertarian Bacon to walruskkkch!

    http://tinyurl.com/YGDFTYLTATSOTE

  4. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …was meet by laughter, and not from just the hyenas.

  5. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …might have worked, except for the “cutting out the bacon” part.

    …was going well, until the now slimmer lions were able to slip through the bars and devoured several children in a tragic scene which soon brought call for more “Commonsense” anti-obesity plan control.

  6. Steve H says:

    … only applied to the zoo’s occupants that refused to become registered democrats (those, those ANIMALS!!!).

  7. Mrs. Campbell says:

    For the exhibits, or the visitors?

  8. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …was mocked by the Mocking Birds.

    …was hen pecked by the Guinea Hens.

  9. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …was stopped short by the part where she wanted to make the Bears “Free-Ranged”.

  10. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …didn’t apply to anything in the Canine family, Obama likes him his dogs juicy!

  11. rodney dill says:

    was cut due to sequester. Bwahahahaha

  12. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …was stupid. Do we really need to waste taxpayer on this crap fer chrissakes, someone slap some sense into that woman!

  13. rodney dill says:

    …had the line area at the food concessions stampeded randomly by herd of gnus and wildebeasts

  14. rodney dill says:

    …used anorexic clothes models as spokepersons.

  15. c64wood says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …will work just as well as it did with the humans

    …was met with a new campaign from the Animal’s Union, “Just Say No”.

    …is actually part of Obamacare. But we had to pass it to find that out.

  16. rodney dill says:

    had celebrity endorsements like PETA, “I’d rather run from something in fur, than not run at all.”

    had celebrity endorsements like PETA, “I’d rather run from something in fur, than get torn to pieces by a ravenous pack of dingos.”

    and the Chris Christie endorsement, “I’d rather run from something in fur, than… oh what the hell, just eat me.”

  17. rodney dill says:

    With catchy zoolike phrases like, Don’t Cheetah on your Diet.

  18. rodney dill says:

    had her say, “remember the lesson of the hyena, ‘Eat Recycled Food, It’s Good For The Environment, and It’s OK For You.'”

  19. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …would go forward unless the Zebras starting kicking in to “Presidential Library Fund” if you know what I mean.

    …was met by cries of “Are our Zoo animals aren’t fat, they are just big-boned.”

  20. rodney dill says:

    had her sic the IRS on the really fat animals…. like walruses.

  21. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …was simplified to “We are going to feed our fat kids to the skinny animals, and the fat animals to our skinny kids.”

  22. blarg says:

    …shows her obvious inability to keep a grasp on reality

    …was immediately accompanied by a waiver for dog pounds

    …only applies to zoos determined to have conservative views

    …exempt Obama’s fat-cat chronies

    …makes some wonder if she thinks there’s a difference between pets and children

    …is just to slim down sharks in preparation for her upcoming shark-jump…but she didn’t want to be accused of profiling

  23. walruskkkch says:

    @20 Hey! Comments I can’t use from an herb.

  24. Jimmy says:

    …failed because all the animals vomited simultaneously, the people left and she went on vacation.

  25. Apostic says:

    …led to serious problems when they put a sign that said “Do Not Feed the Wookies.”

  26. blarg says:

    …were accompanied by putting several zookeepers on the drone strike list

    …had Michael Moore nervously asking “wait…so I’m still cool, right?”

  27. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …is fascinating. Stupid, but fascinating.

    …raised the question, “Is targeting fat: Racist, Sexist, Genderist, Ageist, or some new ‘ist’ that some smart lawyer will think up?”

    …is sure to turn out well. Honestly. Cross my heart. Trust me, I’m from the government.

    …will become bloated beyond all recognition as all Government programs end up.

  28. blarg says:

    …will pave the way for jail time for anyone with an overweight pet.

    …had the rest of the world rolling their eyes and saying, “first world problems”.

  29. Apostic says:

    …led to the new reality show The Biggest Loser: Island of Dr. Moreau. (“What is the law?” “No eat bacon!”)

  30. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …is only more likely to succeed than Democratic plans to slim down the budget.

    …originated in a fevered dream brought on by the lack of bacon in her system.

    …would have succeeded, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids and their dog!

  31. jw says:

    where she will be on display in the wookie exhibit

  32. blarg says:

    …will mean a tax hike on all those “feed the animals” vending machines at zoos but no real impact for the animals.

    …will mean hungrier, more dangerous animals

  33. Apostic says:

    …is one of the few times her medling has not been dehumanizing.

  34. rodney dill says:

    …had the concession stands manned by primates. Even if you can dodge the feces, you still need to pry your hot dog away from a 400 pound gorilla named ‘Nancy.’

  35. rodney dill says:

    @23 – Couldn’t resist.

  36. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …cannot be put into words, it takes a conceptual art project heavily subsidized by the NEA.

    …might work, but I don’t trust the elephants.

    …was approved by some low level employees from Cincinnati.

  37. rodney dill says:

    …featured “Which Animals Can You Outrun?” play areas.

  38. rodney dill says:

    …worked… until the zoos unionized.

  39. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …why? I don’t know. It all made sense after that last doobie with the Choom Master.

  40. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …was modeled after President Ford’s “WIN” campaign of 1974.

    …because only things in cages will stand for her obnoxious busybodying.

  41. Conservatarian says:

    …was launched simultaneously with a campaign to ban Hungry Hungry Hippos.

  42. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …will result in the US having slimmer, more competitive animals than the Chinese and their lazy assed Panda Bears.

  43. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …might just work, of course they also thought that about Socialism.

  44. Conservatarian says:

    …resulted in the first actual Sasquatch being captured and caged for display.

  45. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …was brilliant! Now, just put down my tax files and take a step back.

  46. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …depends upon this one thing, the one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life.*

    *let us see if Rodney Dill figures out THAT connection to a previous contest.

  47. rodney dill says:

    …prohibited zoos from having ‘Fire Swamp’ exhibits.

  48. rodney dill says:

    @46 drawing a blank on that one… at least so far.

  49. rodney dill says:

    …The animals have their own signs that say, “Do NOT FEED the people.”

  50. rodney dill says:

    …the ‘In honor of Helen Thomas’ concession stands… nuff said.

  51. c64wood says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …ended up being just that, a plan.

    …was placed on the shoulders of the taxpayers.

    …caused zoos across the country to shut down from lack of attendance. Who wants to see a skinny hippo?

  52. c64wood says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    … was only the first step. Next there’ll be classes for the animals on safe sex and how to properly use a condom.

  53. plentyobailouts says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    exempted the Sasquatch exhibit

    caused billy clinton to cancel his membership

    had the chimpanzees lining up to be science! experiments!

  54. Bob B says:

    …-elephants and rhinos need not apply.

  55. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    First they came for the Eudorcas thomsonii,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t an Eudorcas thomsonii.

    Then they came for the Ornithorhynchus anatinus,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t an Ornithorhynchus anatinus.

    Then they came for the Panthera tigris,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Panthera tigris.

    Then they came for the Homo sapiens,
    and there was no one left to speak for me.

  56. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …resulted in the hungry, hungry hippos becoming starving, starving hippos.

  57. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …involved a more “Natural” diet for the animals. Which pleased the Predators, the Ruminants? Not so much.

  58. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …unfairly targeted large, grey animals with long trunks and big ears. The administration claimed that was irrelevant.

  59. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . was first reported by a Fox News employee whose phone has been tapped, e-mails are being perused, and tax returns are being audited.

    . . . is not in the ten most absurd ideas to come out of the White House since January 20, 2009.

  60. frogmouth says:

    It’s a madhouse! A maaaaaaaaaadhouse!

  61. Dohtimes says:

    …was brought on when her visit resulted in being pelted by peanuts at the pachyderm exhibit.

    …began with asking a gorilla if he minded peeling his own banana.

    …had it’s genesis in the laughter she provoked whenever she yelled out Let’s Mooooove when leading kids in exercising.

    …was applauded by the hundreds of fat cats she had invited to that nights White House gala.

    …might mean the Yankees will find it easier to tell when they have accidentally shown up at the real Bronx Zoo.

  62. Writer says:

    … lasted until the rhino showed her what he thought of her idea.

  63. Writer says:

    … has been called off since the gorilla moved her in with him.

  64. NoMoBama says:

    ….even targets some animals with 4 legs.

  65. Oppo says:

    … is a natural consequence of being married to Dr. Doolittle.

  66. James says:

    . . . was called off when a reporter addressed the hippopotamus as “Mrs. Obama”.

    . . . was called off when the keeper hosed off the FLOTUS.

  67. walruskkkch says:

    Michelle Obama’s plan to expand her anti-obesity campaign to zoos…

    …will include an exercise program called “everyone runs from the lions.”

  68. RAML says:

    Had the Skinny Cow brand really pumped up.

  69. rodney dill says:

    …that’s it for me. I’m writing off zoos. I’m going clubbing with baby seals instead.

  70. rodney dill says:

    by hosting zumba dances with wolves.

  71. tanstaafl says:

    will close the elephant houses and the hippo houses, but at least we can hope it will also close the house of rinos

  72. rodney dill says:

    …so much for the animals being made out of candy.

    (apologies for the commercial)

  73. rodney dill says:

    …it will features exotic animal races… all except for RINOs, as everyone knows a RINO can’t run and win.

  74. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    [...] Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “Michelle Obama’s Plan to Expand Her Anti-Obesity Campaign to Zoos…” [...]

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