The Newsroom is like my mom, because it's over-earnest and it only finds out about news stories two years after they happen.
— CC:Indecision (@indecision) July 15, 2013
As a society, we've done so well on race that the race hustlers have to attack whitey by pointing to cases that involve 0 white people.
— L K (@OrwellForce) July 15, 2013
Upping my "how was your weekend?" game by bringing a giraffe in a leather jacket with me to the office this fine morning.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) July 15, 2013
Joe Biden walks nervously into the grocery store by himself for the first time He asks the clerk, "where are the snowman noses?"
— michael (@michaeljhudson) July 15, 2013
The worst thing about this trend of girls wearing big giant sunglasses is that I’ve become sexually attracted to wasps.
— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) July 15, 2013
I get why people dislike profiling, but if you see a Governor of Illinois in your neighborhood, you should dial 911.
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) July 15, 2013
It's almost as if some Americans didn't take the true message of Sharknado to heart.
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) July 16, 2013
pillows need to be stored above for safety. would hate for a pillow to come crashing into my face.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) July 16, 2013