I encountered an unsolvable problem: The coffee pot isn’t work. It’s unsolvable because I need coffee to solve things.
Cory Booker told a story of eating a t-bone steak? HE’S A VEGETARIAN! HE MADE THAT UP!
All vegetarians are liars. They constantly lie about what foods they want to eat.
I hope we find out that T-Bone stole Obama’s composite girlfriend from him.
If you say my children need to suffer for the collective good, I will punch your hippie face for the collective good.
BREAKING: George Zimmerman has shot and killed T-Bone.
If you don’t constantly make fun of the president, you’re a bad American.
So I guess the only lesson we learned from the Bush presidency is that the left doesn’t like Bush.
Good approach to voting is to pretend it’s a list of people who murdered your family and you’re forced to pick some to spare from death.
If we don’t get in another war, how are we supposed to remember why we shouldn’t get in another war?
I miss living in Florida with alligators around. It was like Final Fantasy; you’d be walking along and suddenly have a random encounter with a monster.
We probably should have put something limiting the president’s ability to unilaterally go to war in the Constitution.
Brevity is the soul of appealing to people with ADHD.