We can all start calling her Chelsea Manning, but it won't stop your mom from thinking the name is Bradley Snowden.
— CC:Indecision (@indecision) August 22, 2013
You know who else served in the US military and then asked to change his name? Yep. Wolverine.
— Greg Pollowitz (@GPollowitz) August 22, 2013
there are plenty of fish in the sea. there are plenty of eels in the sea. there are plenty of sharks in the sea. the odds are against you
— what do i put here (@trilldrone) August 22, 2013
Sharknado reminds me of that guy in high school who said something funny once and just kept saying it over and over until we killed him.
— Emily V Gordon (@thegynomite) August 22, 2013
Sorry I'm late, been real busy giving myself too much credit for being polite to homeless people.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) August 22, 2013
if i like one thing, it’s picking something and saying it’s the only thing i like
— jon hendren (@fart) August 22, 2013
Wish someone would make a porn parody of my love life.
— dan guterman (@danguterman) August 22, 2013
"Who wants to GET BIRD FLU? …sorry, "PARTY," I meant 'Who wants to PARTY?'" — me, terrible DJ
— BillCorbett (@BillCorbett) August 22, 2013
If the Army isn't gonna provide sexual reassignment surgery then why even join?
— Dan Ewen (@VaguelyFunnyDan) August 22, 2013
i wish i had even a little of the confidence of the mayor in "jaws"
— john freiler (@johnfreiler) August 22, 2013