So Ted Cruz is filibustering — or doing something like a filibuster — to stop Obamacare. And part of what he’s been saying in his many hours is trying to explain what a disaster Obamacare will be. People already know it’s bad, but it’s not even in full effect yet. But any day now, Obama will be like, “Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL health care law!” It’s hard to comprehend how bad that will be, so I’m trying to come up with some analogies to explain.
ANALOGIES FOR OBAMACARE.
* It’s the Hindenburg crashing into the Titanic.
* It’s a tall burning building toppling onto the fire station.
* It’s a nuclear bomb that only wipes out hospitals and your savings.
* It’s a train crashing head on into another train and they’re on a bridge and all the train cars rain down onto an orphanage below.
* It’s Miley Cyrus.
* It’ll be like you’re trapped in a burning building, but instead of “Break Glass in Case of Fire” to get to the extinguisher it’s “Open Clamshell Packaging in Case of Fire.”
* It’s the new Star Wars sequels directed by Joel Schumacher and starring Tyler Perry.
* It’s Gilbert Gottfried loudly narrating your life wherever you go.
* It’s New Coke, except it’s mandatory to drink and trying to obtain Classic Coke will get you arrested.
* It’s there’s a huge war looming, but the only recruits the military can get resemble the members of One Direction.
* It’s going on a blind date and finding it’s Debbie Wasserman Schultz who then roofies you and you wake up legally married to her.