NY Times, Sept. 2013: Today Press Secretary Jay Carney announced the administration’s position on the alleged statement that the president was ‘laying down a red line’ concerning the use of chemical weapons in the Syrian civil war. Carney explained that, “What really happened is the world just suffered the worse case of global mass hallucination ever recorded in the history of mankind. People around the world thought they saw the president on their TV’s, delivering a warning to Syrian strongman Bashir al-Assad about crossing a red line when it comes to using chemical weapons. What they were actually seeing was the president simply playing a round of golf.” Carney further stated that, “While science can’t fully explain the cause of this phenomenon it is believed to have something to do with global climate change, lack of affordable health care, racism, and of course Bush. We haven’t seen anything like this since the last case of global mass hallucination when people thought they saw former President Bill Clinton deny having sex with that woman…Miss Lewinsky, when actually he was making a speech about the end of big government.”
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