Sabotage Obamacare? That’s like sabotaging a time bomb. Usually that’s called “defusing.”
Not to alarm anybody, but anarchists are taking over the GOP. You can identify them by their ripped leather jackets.
If you find an anarchist, report him to Republican leadership. You’ll get a free snow cone.
It is also possible that some of the Republican radicals are secretly pirates. Be on the lookout for symptoms of scurvy.
If an anarchist bites you, you become one. And anarchists like to bite. Because anarchy.
So should I preorder Batman Arkham Origins? Just need some confirmation the new team working on it didn’t screw up the combat first.
Earbud manufacturers: Since you haven’t figured this out, the weak point is where the flexible wire connects to the earbud. Reinforce that.
While I’m at, electronic manufacturers: When you make big, weird plugs, they block other outlets. How have you not noticed that?
Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton, so if politicians aren’t shooting each other, they’re getting along okay from a historical perspective.
So is it now a fringe position to think Obama is a good president?
One day we’ll have robots and laser guns and no need for any government at all.
If you’re ever attacked by a shark try to bring the battle to land because then you can suplex it and fight over.
I don’t want a year delay on Obamacare. I want to watch a train wreck NOW!
Just because I’m anti-government doesn’t make me some extremist. The militia I’m a member of is very mainstream.
Got an iPhone! I think I’m an elitist now.
My work email enforces a pin code on phones, so the fingerprint scanner on the new iPhone is pretty convenient.
A stake to the heart followed by decapitation will kill just about any human.
Humans are also weakened by sunlight if it’s a particularly hot day.
I have a special noise-cancelling gun. If something is noisy, I shoot it with my gun and no noise.
I’m glad I haven’t watched any of Breaking Bad. The last thing I need is more compelling drama to waste my time being compelled by.