This is the part where Obama gives a big speech and fixes everything.
If it’s an “unbelievably small” attack on Syria, why don’t we just say we already did it and everyone missed it?
“An attack so small we couldn’t even see it? I don’t believe it!”
“That’s what I said; unbelievably small.”
So we’re going to bomb Syria a little bit, but not so much they’ll get angry at us? #SmartPower
Next time my daughter acts up, I’ll give her a fork to eat her cereal and see how that works as a punishment.
Marketing Idea: General Mills releases new Unbelievably Small Cheerios. “Really hard to eat with a fork!”
Man, it’s hard to write 140 characters without any typos.
“Assad wants to eat a corn dog, but we’re taking the stick out of his corn dog. Try eating that without getting mustard on your hands.”
“Assad’s going to turn around and the sleeve is gone on his cup of Starbucks. He’ll have to wait minutes and before he can pick that up.”
Why hasn’t the former vice president started his own band called “The Al Gore Rhythms”?
Just drop me in the Middle East with a handgun and a stick of dynamite and I’ll fix everything.
Hmm. I’ve done some more research on the Middle East and I think I’ll need at least three sticks of dynamite.
Maybe Obama can cheer himself up by telling himself this is all because he made such convincing arguments against Iraq.
You can be funny without swearing, but it takes effort. I’ve stared at a blank page for hours thinking of what to say other than the f-word.