So the Republicans are getting in this fight over defunding Obamacare, and a lot of people think it’s a stupid battle to get into because there is no way it will ever succeed. And defunding is superhard. Just look at the steps it will take:
STEPS TO DEFUNDING OBAMACARE
1. You have to get a bill to defund Obamacare. This is hard because you’ll need to get all the Republicans behind it, and many are establishment Republicans who have an intense dislike of doing anything that’s even remotely useful to anyone.
2. After the bill is ready, it will have to go before Obama to sign. This will make him mad. He’ll probably hiss and claw at you. And then he’ll veto it.
3. It takes a two-thirds vote to override a veto, but it’s really hard to get two-thirds of Congress to even show up. Most of Congress, instead of working, just kind of lounges around the pool out back of the Capitol or they play hooky and go see movies in town. You’ll have to come up with something good to get them all in to vote, like free ice cream and a clown that makes balloon animals — though now the Capitol will end up sticky and with pieces of balloon everywhere.
4. So let’s say you get the two thirds vote and now Obamacare is defunded. It’s over, right? Wrong. Obama will just grab a trash bag and head over to the Fed and tell them to print enough money to fill up his bag so he can fund Obamacare. The only way to stop that is to sabotage the money printing presses. And it’s not easy because there are video cameras watching those printing presses. You’ll need smoke bombs so you can sabotage under the cover of smoke. Then when security sees what’s going on, they’ll be like, “Oh. It’s nothing; it’s just a bunch of smoke.”
5. So you’ve defunded Obamacare and kept the Fed from printing Obama more money — but it’s still not over. Obama will then get into his drill machine and try to drill into the center of the earth to get the diamonds there. And, as everyone knows, it’s the diamonds in the center of the earth that give us gravity, so if Obama takes them, gravity will cease and those levels with the bubbles in them will no longer work. So we’ll have to get a drill machine and go after him. And there will probably be a big battle underground, and the winner will be whoever can form an alliance with the mole people.
So, there you go; that’s the steps to defunding Obamacare. It doesn’t sound very realistic to me — especially the stuff about the mole people — so I’d be really cautious about pursuing this. Or not. I don’t really care. But I would like free ice cream though clowns scare me.