People who squirt ketchup all over their fries instead of dipping them are not people you need in your life.
— antijokeapple (@antijokeapple) September 16, 2013
If I owned a mall, all the mall directories would have red "You are here" people dots, and dozens of black "They are here" ninja dots.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) September 16, 2013
Sonic? *spits out hamburger* You mean this was made outta hedgehog?
— Sadvil (@crylenol) September 16, 2013
"Looks like I'm sleeping in the doghouse tonight!" – A really secure dog in a loving, committed relationship with its partner
— Nick (@NickBossRoss) September 16, 2013
2012: AAAGHH ROMNEY WILL MAKE GAY TAMPONS ILLEGAL AAAGHHH 2013: Well of course they need to ask about your sex life, they're the government.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 16, 2013