As best I can tell, the gold iPhone isn't really for us—I think it's for Japanese businessmen and Russian mafia wives.
— William Beutler (@WilliamBeutler) September 10, 2013
I've hated Richard Dawkins ever since my thoroughly confused, temporarily lesbian ex-stepmother gave me one of his books.
— Your Mom's Red Line (@stephenkruiser) September 10, 2013
*enters Van Gogh Barber Shop* a little off the side *Van Gogh cuts off own ear* perfect! oh let's marry, Vince *Van Gogh wakes from dream*
— Dave Dittell (@davedittell) September 10, 2013
When you're on a safari and you assume, you make an ass out of Ume, your safari guide.
— Fun_Beard (@Fun_Beard) September 11, 2013
I love how NYTimes reporters tweet out the glories of their paper's graphics like a parent Facebooking cute pictures of their kids
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) September 11, 2013