government shutdown? more like… [i try to think of a zinger, years pass, my hair turns gray my skin withers] more like government shut up!
— Bassoon Jokes (@BassoonJokes) September 25, 2013
I support a woman's right to choose whether to participate in Obamacare.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 25, 2013
Harry Reid always looks like an intruder who's been hiding in your closet for hours just waiting to surprise you.
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) September 25, 2013
This Harry Reid speech declaring Ted Cruz's non-filibuster filibuster a "big waste of time" has been a small waste of time.
— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) September 25, 2013
In a bear attack, hold your hands up and approach calmly. Palm strike to the sternum. You're attacking a bear now.
— Ceej (@ceejoyner) September 25, 2013
For Halloween this year, I'm going as a slightly outdated cultural reference.
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) September 25, 2013
I love reading MSM stuff where they have a an unintended 1 sentence moment of clarity they don't realize undoes their entire premise.
— I Clotured Your Mom (@stephenkruiser) September 25, 2013
Best part is, Breaking Bad taught everyone about Dr. Werner Heisenberg, who won the Nobel Prize for inventing crystal meth.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) September 25, 2013
Batman named himself after the thing that scared him most. That's how I became Girlsman.
— Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) September 25, 2013
Pandas are sad because they live under communism.
— Mark Hemingway (@Heminator) September 25, 2013