“Hey, Bob!” shouted President Obama as he barged into Bob’s office.
Bob put his head in his hands. “Come on. I’m really busy right now.”
“I just wanted to warn you that the Obamacare website has some glitches,” Obama said.
“I’m not using your stupid website,” Bob said. “I’m just having to deal with the health insurance plans my company was using being dropped.”
Obama smiled. “Yeah, Obamacare really shook things up.”
Bob nodded. “Like a toddler stumbling into a house of cards.”
“Anyway, I want to show you something,” Obama said.
“I said I’m busy.”
“Well…” Obama walked towards Bob and then quickly threw a hood over his head.
* * * *
“Did you just kidnap me?” Bob asked, uneasily getting out of a car with a hood over his head.
“I taxed you,” Obama answered. “Justice Roberts says I can do anything as long as I call it a tax.” Obama pulled the hood off. In front of Bob was a large building with smoke coming out of the windows. “This is the Obamacare headquarters!” Obama announced. “If people are having trouble with the website — or the phone which I guess is also not really working — they can come here to sign up for insurance!”
“The building is on fire,” Bob stated.
“Well… yeah… the light and heat in the building has gone a bit out of control. You see, the electricity didn’t work and so it was dark and cold in there, thus we started some fires. Biden was in charge of that and, well, you know… Anyway, still, it’s a great building. Only cost us $1.2 billion dollars; a bargain.”
Bob stared a moment at the smiling Obama. “You don’t know how money works, do you?”
“Anyway, while I think some people with pre-existing conditions are signing up for Obamacare despite the little difficulties — which is great — what we really need is young healthy people to sign up. So, Bob, I need people like you to help convince those young healthy people to come here and sign up.”
Bob looked at the building for a moment. “You want me to convince young health people to walk into a burning building to sign up for health insurance they don’t really need and can’t afford?”
“Well, they kind of have to,” Obama said. “If we don’t get more of them to sign up, the whole thing collapses or something. I don’t really get the economics of this, but my people keep telling me its those young healthy people we need to sign up.”
“I think we’re all aware you don’t get the economics of this.” Bob looked at the building again. “Has anyone called the fire department?”
“Um… none of us here have phones.”
“Of course not.”
“What is the number for the fire department? 1-800-HELP-FIRE… or is that too many digits? Anyway, could you call them for us?”
Bob took his phone out of his pocket and considered that for a moment. Then he turned and began to leave. “Eh, let it burn.”