So it seems like Republicans and Democrats are nearing a compromise on the shut down and debt ceiling. Here’s what I’m hearing are possibly part of that compromise.
POSSIBLE PARTS OF A COMPROMISE ON THE SHUTDOWN AND DEBT CEILING
* The government will only be shut down on weekends and holidays.
* Obama can no longer interrupt prime time network TV for his useless speeches and instead they will be broadcast on the Cartoon Network.
* Everyone who works hard and pays taxes so everyone else gets free stuff will now get a thank you note (email, not print).
* Obamacare will continue to be implemented, but it will continue to be inept so as to help Republicans get more gains in 2014.
* Republicans will be required to roll their eyes whenever “Ted Cruz” is mentioned to show they aren’t extremists, and occasionally mutter “That guy…”
* While raising the debt ceiling, the debt floor will also be lowered case anyone wants to consider less debt. Maybe. Just an idea.
* Democrats will continue to spend the government into collapse, but Republicans get to keep their guns so they’ll easily be able to take over when the inevitable happens.
* The individual mandate will be delayed for five minutes.
* Some spending cuts will be made in exchange for Republicans publicly admitting they didn’t really have and end game planned for all this.