Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) September 30, 2013
There are no feminists in spider holes.
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) September 30, 2013
watching the media cover the Democrats is like watching Game of Thrones with a guy with a WINTER IS COMING t-shirt and stuffed dragon
— SquatchPride69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 30, 2013
wow so walt was heisenberg all along
— Eli Braden (@EliBraden) September 30, 2013
Speed through a school zone, drift into the student pickup lane & crank the AC/DC. The cops can't arrest you for being awesome
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) October 1, 2013
Let's rename our southern border the Mexican-American War Memorial, so Obama will put a fence around it.
— Tom McCammon (@TomMcCammon) October 4, 2013
Dear Internet, Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist. Jeez!
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 6, 2013
If I didn't believe the 1st person to put walnuts in chocolate chip cookies is roasting in hell I'd never get be able to get out of bed.
— Michael J Nelson (@michaeljnelson) October 7, 2013