What's more realistic: WWZ (Brad Pitt) version occurring or ACA covering 7m uninsured? (not a fair q bc #zombies are plausible)
— Greg Pollowitz (@GPollowitz) October 16, 2013
"I'm an adult I think I can handle running with scissors" *Trips immediately* *Scissors slash school bus tire* *Bus careens off bridge* "NO"
— Spooky Cheese Pile! (@Cheese_Pile) October 16, 2013
That government shutdown was like seeing a morbidly obese chain-smoker almost get hit by a car.
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) October 16, 2013
You can tell I'm a serious artist because I use only the finest organic macaroni in my work.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) October 17, 2013