Straight Line of the Day: Why Did President Obama Shake Hands With Cuban Dictator Raul Castro?

Posted on December 12, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Why did President Obama shake hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro?

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47 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Why Did President Obama Shake Hands With Cuban Dictator Raul Castro?”

  1. Bob B says:

    Because Kim Jung-Un wasn’t available.

    At this point, what difference does it make.

    He’s been looking for a different vacation spot for next summer.

  2. Steve H says:

    … He thought he was that Oxi-clean guy
    … Because there wasn’t enough room to bow down and kiss his feet.

  3. blarg says:

    …to express the admiration he has for Castro’s ability to hold power and push a Communist agenda.

    …they were making a choom deal.

    …he was thanking Castro for that case of “The Clinton Special”.

    …you bow to royalty you shake hands with dictators.

    …he was just doing as he’s told.

  4. rodney dill says:

    The rest room was out of hand towels.

  5. Steve H says:

    … Castro isn’t muslim, otherwise he would’ve French-kissed him
    … Obama wants more info from him on that interesting timeshare he keeps talking about
    … He needs Castro as a reference

  6. rodney dill says:

    …because he was too close to bow.

  7. Steve H says:

    … he thought Castro was the leader of Mexico
    … he made a deal for a box of cigars
    … thanking him for showing off his Health Care System to Hollywood liberals

  8. walruskkkch says:

    Why did President Obama shake hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro?

    He would have dropped trousers and played “catcher” but the left wing media may have actually taken notice.

  9. walruskkkch says:

    Why did President Obama shake hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro?

    He was hoping Raul had some Anonymiss cookies for lunch and could get a contact high.

  10. walruskkkch says:

    Why did President Obama shake hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro?

    To show he is on the other side?

  11. walruskkkch says:

    Why did President Obama shake hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro?

    Setting up his asylum bid for 2017.

  12. c64wood says:

    Obama was passing a note from Michelle that read, “Do you like me? Check one: Yes / No”

    He was actually trying to pull Raul over to join the “selfie”

    Because Obama never met a communist he didn’t like

    Better than grabbing his junk

  13. can of spam says:

    Because he was hoping to get a treat, just like when Valerie trains him. (His best-learned commands are “bark”, “bow”, “shake hands”, and “roll over” [but only to terrorists and despots].)

  14. walruskkkch says:

    Why did President Obama shake hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro?

    Lack of courtesy is for dealing with Republicans.

  15. frogmouth says:

    Because bowing is SOOOO 2009…

  16. walruskkkch says:

    Why did President Obama shake hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro?

    Hey, it was just their first date.

  17. Jeff in South Dakota says:

    Why did President Obama shake hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro? Becuse bowing takes too long and he was already running late for his patty-cake date with the Danish Prime Minister.

  18. DamnCat says:

    …because he didn’t want to go home with Michelle and the Danish PM shot him down.

  19. Rayfan87 says:

    To tell him what a fan of his brothers work he is.

  20. nabqrules says:

    ,,,his phone battery died.

  21. Gumbeaux says:

    To thank him for his brother’s endorsement and under the table money in his last two elections.

  22. Iowa Jim says:

    Obama has a personal objective to shake hands with every totalitarian dictator before January 20, 2017.

    He thought that he was shaking hands with Raoul Duke.

  23. slapout says:

    His back was too stiff to bow

  24. Burt says:

    President O’bama is desperately seeking approval…from ANYone.

  25. GrandLarsenE says:

    Because giving him a handie right there would not be very presidential.

  26. AT says:

    … because the embargo on fistbumps is still in place.

    … because a brohug would have been too obvious.

  27. FormerHostage says:

    Because Obama mistook him for the Most Interesting Man in the World.

    Obama was palming Raul a cookie.

    Because Obama’s aide mistranslated “pull my finger.”

  28. blarg says:

    …because it’s not every day you meet someone whose beliefs and ideals are so close to your own.

    …because Valarie Jarret put the kabosh on the leg humping.

  29. blarg says:

    huh…apparently it’s spelled “kibosh”.

    It’s apparently also probably of Irish descent so with Valarie Jarret being a Native American and all I’m probably a racist for attributing an Irish thing to her.

    I suck.

  30. Burt says:

    Too bad there weren’t any microphones to pick up the audio: http://youtu.be/rr0xqtFo3Xo

  31. Bob B says:

    Because, since Hugo Chavez has passed, Obama needs a new Latino in his Super Friends Rainbow Coalition.

  32. Burt says:

    WOO-HOO!!!! I finally got moderated! I guess I should count myself lucky to not have to scrub my fingertips with Ajax.

  33. Jimmy says:

    Because he knew that reaching around to shake his tail could have caused impalement and would have been in bad taste.

    Well, he was going to give a reach around, but he also knew Michelle would be jealous.

  34. nabqrules says:

    To get to the other side. (what, this wasn’t a chicken crossing the road joke? could’ve fooled me.)

  35. Marc says:

    He was saying hello to a Fellow Traveler

  36. CCO says:

    …because human beings will shake hands with anyone.

  37. CCO says:

    (probably really #12c or #35.)

  38. blarg says:

    …cause when he got caught having fun snapping selfies with celebrities at a funeral he couldn’t even muster some fake sadness

  39. walruskkkch says:

    They didn’t show the full handshake.

    Your browser does not support iframes.

    hope that link works.

  40. Dohimes says:

    When a communist puppet has a hand up it’s butt it does whatever the hand wants it to do.

    His wedding vow had a pledge of Fidelity and all white Hispanics look alike to him.

    When you sell out America all Cuban dictators expect a five finger discount.

    He was congratulating him for looking deader than Mandela, but still more alive than Fidel.

    A glitch in Obamacare enrolled him and now he is looking for a country that has a functioning healthcare system.

  41. walruskkkch says:

    How about this try?

    http://youtu.be/xztwQeZoBKs

  42. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …because Raul offered Obama a doggie treat. (you know, real dog)

  43. howardfrombroward says:

    because it was a Marxist who had married a beard acknowledging another Marxist who had married a beard. ever since the media exposure scared barry the red away from the trinity united church of Christ in Chicago (oprah’s former church, too), he really misses the down low club fellowship.

  44. tandm3 says:

    because bowing would have been inappropriate?

  45. RAML says:

    Why not. He has screwed everyone else in sight.

  46. Karen says:

    Because the back brace wouldn’t let him bow.

  47. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “Why Did President Obama Shake Hands With Cuban Dictator Raul Castro?” […]

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