The Obama That Ruined Christmas

Posted on December 18, 2013 11:00 am

So as Obamacare burns because of Obama’s own incompetence and idiocy, he’s decided to strike out against us again. This time, is aim is to ruin Christmas.

Does he really need to work this hard to get people talking? Everyone I know is constantly grumbling about how idiotic Obamacare is. Still, Barack H. Oblivious thinks he can save things by encouraging douche-nozzles to pester everyone during the holidays. In fact, he’s laid out a bunch of suggestions to ruin everyone’s Christmas:


* “How about instead of Christmas carols, you go door to door singing about the Affordable Care Act.”

* “Know what makes a great stocking stuffer? A pamphlet explaining health insurance options.”

* “How about instead of a mall Santa, you get a mall Obama who you can it in the lap of while he explains the benefits of having health insurance.”

* “How about instead of an Elf on the Shelf, you get an ‘Insurance Application on the Shelf’ that every morning appears in more and more prominent places until you finally sign up for insurance.”

* “How about instead of getting presents for each other, you get the best present for yourself: Buy yourself health insurance.”

* “Why don’t you do a new type of nativity scene this year centered around an insurance application, with the wise men being Obama administration cabinet members.”

* “How about instead of gathering around a fire, you gather around the computer and wait together as loads.”

* “How about instead of decorating a Christmas tree, you buy insurance. Sorry, I’m kind of running out of ideas; just please buy insurance before this whole thing collapses and everyone yells at me.”

* “Worried about your family shunning you because you won’t shut up about the Affordable Care Act this Christmas? Just remember that you don’t actually need family; you only need health insurance.”

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15 Responses to “The Obama That Ruined Christmas”

  1. Matt Musson says:

    All you need to know about ObamaCare: “If you had insurance before – your price is going up.”

  2. walruskkkch says:

    Just remember to tell mom, “If you had the ACA you could have afforded to abort me.” Should work wonders.

  3. Oppo says:

    “The NSA has lots and lots of lists. One of them may be the Naughty vs. Nice one.”

  4. Oppo says:

    “How about counting your blessings? Forward the final list to the IRS to calculate your insurance rate (or subsidy!)”

  5. Oppo says:

    “Remember: Michelle Obama strongly discourages visions of sugarplums. Stop it.”

  6. Iowa Jim says:

    Anybody who talks to me about health insurance on Christmas is going to be wearing his hot chocolate.

  7. Jimmy says:

    * If you think 2013 is bad, just wait for 2014!

  8. Manolo says:

    Why wear an ugly sweater this Christmas when you can be cloaked in the warmth of Obamacare?

  9. Dohtimes says:

    Wear pajamas.
    Drink hot chocolate.
    Wish you were allowed to live nearer than 5,000 feet of a school.
    Talk to Mom about Obamacare as she starts drinking heavily at 7:30 a.m.

  10. Oppo says:

    @9: Now that’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are!

  11. blarg says:

    we’re starting a new tradition – you mention healthcare at xmas, you get a musket to the junk cause you’re obviously a Communist.

  12. zzyzx says:

    Dad and Mom’s basement are a little brighter this time of the year.

  13. blarg says:

    I’m gonna introduce the family to my new boyfriend, Jim Messina

  14. RAML says:

    Frank, you are starting to scare me. You realize this is to close to being true to be any form of funny, satire or whatever.

  15. zzyzx says:

    Know what makes a great stocking stuffer? A pamphlet explaining health insurance options. ~ Also, in a pinch can be used as toilet paper, mind you not *great* toilet paper but still…toilet paper.

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