"Bing Crosby" is a name we all accept as perfectly normal
— FRANKenCENSE Lowery (@kenlowery) December 11, 2013
Isn't it weird how we PARK in a DRIVEway, but I'll probably DIE in my LIVING room?
— M.A.H. Humbug (@markhoppus) December 11, 2013
Activists doth protest too much, methinks
— Billy Ho Ho Hosewood (@hawwhit) December 11, 2013
This Clif bar gives me the strength and endurance I need to finish this box of Oreos
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) December 11, 2013
[renegade mom starts dryer with full lint trap, puts on shades and walks away slowly from a potential explosion]
— Ceej (@ceejoyner) December 12, 2013
Cheats on taxes. Wins taxes back. Starts family with taxes. Taxes never truly trust again.
— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) December 12, 2013