Abby Someone

In Indiana, a young man broke into a warehouse to steal the brains of dead mental patients so he could sell them on eBay.

And yet somehow he STILL managed to make more money than most government-funded green energy projects.

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11 Comments

  1. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck’s?

    Igor: [pause, then] No.

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in?

    Igor: Then you won’t be angry?

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.

    Igor: Abby someone.

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby someone. Abby who?

    Igor: Abby… Normal.

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby Normal?

    Igor: I’m almost sure that was the name.

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [chuckles, then] Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?

    [grabs Igor and starts throttling him]

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Is that what you’re telling me?

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  2. The Occupant said he’ll let the NSA continue to collect phone data on Americans, but he wants a private, third-party organization to store the data until the NSA needs it.
    I guess his buddies at Solyndra and Acorn have time on their hands.
    Or maybe he’ll just eliminate the middle-men and outsource our national security to his new best buddies in Tehran and North Korea?

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  3. “That’s right, I’m selling Joe Biden’s brain.”

    “But you sold me Joe Biden’s brain last year! Not only that, this one is much smaller!”

    “Oh, well, that’s Joe Biden’s brain when he was a lad.”

    Ba dum dum.

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