Biden’s 2014 New Year Resolutions

My man in State has done it again.  He has managed to get his hands on the Vice President’s list of New Year Resolutions for 2014.   This year he resolves to:

  • Learn how to tie my own shoes
  • Get brave enough to pet Bo
  • Finish watching School House Rock’s How a Bill Becomes a Law
  • Get brave enough to pet Hillary
  • Steal my nose back from Sasha
  • Learn how to use my DVR so I can get caught up on the back episodes of Sesame Street
  • Get brave enough to pet Putin
  • Get past onesies in jacks
  • Figure out how to pry that safety plug out of the electrical outlet so I can finally taste it
  • Place in the Senate Simon Sez competition
  • Get brave enough to pet Rachel Maddow
  • Finally beat Barney Frank at strip tic-tac-toe
  • Prove that Nancy is a real witch
  • Finish the bust of Helen Thomas fashioned from my toenail clipping collection
  • Practice kissing with the bust of Helen Thomas fashioned from my toe nail clippings
  • Get brave enough to kiss the real Helen Thomas
  • Live happily ever after
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  1. Learn to speak with an Indian accent by watching Jay Silverheels so as not to offend 7-11 clerks.

    Fixed again.



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