Just Kidding. The Sandwich Had Bacon

In Portland, Oregon, police managed to lure a suicidal man off a ledge by offering him a sandwich.

He didn’t really want the sandwich, but they told him he’d have to pay a fine if he didn’t take it.

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  1. They promised him a bacon sandwich but he ended up getting liverwurst. And they charged him 3 times what he used to pay for bacon.


  2. This was in Portland Ore-uh-gone, right? Home to almost as many smelly, dirty Hippies per square inch as Berkeley. The place where the city government subsidizes Occupier campgrounds.

    That there sammich had to be made using gluten-free, 36 grain bread, mayo made using eggs from free-range chickens, lettuce picked by unionized undocumented laborers, and tofu ham or bacon.

    Wrapped in recycled, hemp-based toilet paper, said sammich was probably delivered to the police by a naked, heavily tatted and pierced, bike riding lesbian with braided pit-hair.



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