Put Up or Shut Up Date for Climate Doomsday

So it’s been at least two decades now of climate scientists promising doomsday very very soon, and yet they keep making pronouncements like “Climate Change Worse Than We Thought, Likely To Be ‘Catastrophic Rather Than Simply Dangerous'” and expect us to pay attention. Weren’t you guys making exact same claims like that twenty years ago? You actually think anyone new is going to pay attention if you just keep repeating it over and over for years and years as nothing happens (other than ships looking for global warming data getting stuck in ice)? It’s starting to make me think that climate scientists have the problem solving skills of chickens — which would explain a lot.

Instead of these constant claims of doomsday that have become white noise, climate scientists need a put up or shut up date. They need to declare a specific date that they say everyone will be dead by, and if we aren’t all dead then, we get to make fun of them and call them idiots who have no idea what they’re talking about. So no more vague, unproveable claims of some future calamity at some unspecified time; we need a hard date that everyone should be dead by if they actually have any idea of what they’re talking about. And if they won’t come up with that, they might as well save their breath on any more pronouncements no one is going to listen to.

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11 Comments

  1. They’ve already produced a drop dead date for overpopulation.

    Paul Ehrlich, who commands huge fees speaking as an expert on population control, made his fame with The Population Bomb, published in 1968. He predicted, among other things, that the mid-1970s (in his best case scenario) would see massive famines, “mild” food rationing in the United States, the Pope approving birth control and abortion, food riots in Africa, Asia and Latin America, and the population decimated by hunger and plagues.

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  2. My son asked me what a polar bear was the other day. I had to sadly explain to them how they’re completely extinct.

    It was difficult. Like the time I had to explain to him that the only rainforests left were in shopping malls.

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  3. @4 – And the Stanford alumni magazine still runs a flattering article on the fool once every three or four years. This is something to which I make reference, using the business reply envelope provided, every time the magazine asks me for a voluntary contribution to support it.

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  4. Hey, don’t make fun! Calvin Trillin used to talk about a chicken in Chinatown that could play tic-tac-toe and won. So chickens have pretty good reasoning skills, comparatively speaking.*

    *Note: The scientists would like to point out that a single chicken is not even a data point, and that they are more interested in chickenishness over long periods rather than a single, possibly unique chicken.

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