“The rifle has some of the features of an assault rifle, but with a .22 caliber.” And my 4-cylinder has some of the features of a sports car.
Every news story about guns should have this disclaimer: “This reporter is very scared of guns and has no idea what he’s talking about.”
Is it legal for me to burn weed inside a light bulb?
Last page of my daily Dilbert calendar: “All Jewish holidays begin at sundown the previous day.” Now you tell me!
Compromise: Smoking weed is legal. Punching hippies is legal.
I will never drop my middle initial as “J” is widely recognized as the best middle initial.
If you want some anecdotal evidence, I conceal carry and I’ve never been murdered.
It’s a good thing Laurence Fishburne became an actor and not a seafood chef.
Climate scientists need a cut off date. They should say, “We’ll all be dead by X” and if we aren’t dead then, we get to make fun of them.
How do you make men and women equal? How do you make apples and oranges equal?
So did 12 Years a Slave change anyone’s views on slavery? “I was totally for slavery until I saw that movie.”
If you get the government to inconvenience me in any way I will do everything in my power to destroy all you care about.
“The accumulated snow will be at their waists and all the whores and politicians will shout ‘Plow!’ And I’ll look down, and whisper ‘No’”
If you don’t like income inequality then donate most of your income to people in third-world countries.