Resolutions for 2014

Posted on January 1, 2014 6:00 am

In the new year, I resolve to…

  • be tolerant of other people‚Äôs point of view
  • be tolerant of liberals
  • not call everyone who voted for Obama a moron
  • drive the speed limit at all times
  • say nice things about Democrats
  • not make fun of rednecks
  • not call everyone who voted for Obama a dumbass
  • not make fun of yankees
  • compliment people more often
  • not call everyone who voted for Obama an idiot
  • become a serious blogger
  • sprout wings and fly

I have an equal chance of success with all of them.

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8 Responses to “Resolutions for 2014”

  1. CCO says:

    I thought you were a serious blogger (for certain values of serious).

    Happy New Year!

  2. Basil says:

    Well, “serious” as in “not funny,” then, yeah.

  3. AwesometificAmerican says:

    New Years Resolutions:
    1 .Crush my enemies.
    2. See them driven before me.
    3. Hear the lamentations of their women.
    4. Eat healthier.

  4. Brenda Kennedy says:

    I will try to comply with all the above,except:
    1. Say nice things about democrats.
    2. Be tolerant about liberals.

  5. Steve H says:

    You shouldn’t make fun of rednecks – when TEOTWAWKI happens you’ll be begging us to take you in, and we have great memories…

  6. Jimmy says:

    New Years Resolutions:

    1. Give-up Frank.
    2. Stop encouraging Harvey to write more Newsish Fakery.
    3. Tell Basil he isn’t funny since he doesn’t think he is.
    4. Give-up on the first three resolutions already.

    Seriously,

    1. Try to figure out how to be a good grandfather.
    2. Do at least one thing on my bucket list.
    3. Give-up on self-improvement projects.

  7. DamnCat says:

    Eat more tuna.

  8. RAML says:

    be tolerant of liberals
    say nice things about Democrats
    not call everyone who voted for Obama a moron
    not call everyone who voted for Obama a dumbass
    not call everyone who voted for Obama an idiot

    become a serious blogger
    sprout wings and fly

    No chance of any of the above happening

    And as far as last years resulotiojn

    drive the speed limit at all times

    Nice thought , but shite happens

    not make fun of rednecks

    not make fun of yankees

    compliment people more often

    No problem

    Happy New Year

    As far as last years resolutions of losing vast amounts of weight. I went from 350 to 300 which isn’t vast, so I think I will put it down as one of them continuing resolutions

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