Straight Line of the Day: DHS Plans to X-Ray All Food and Drink at the Super Bowl. Other Preparations…

Posted on January 31, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

DHS plans to X-ray all food and drink at the Super Bowl. Other preparations…

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65 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: DHS Plans to X-Ray All Food and Drink at the Super Bowl. Other Preparations…”

  1. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …closing all of the bridges and roads to the stadium because none of those out-of-towners voted for Christie.

  2. c64wood says:

    DHS plans to X-ray all food and drink at the Super Bowl. Other preparations…

    Keeping Matthew Broderick away from a computer and a phone.

    Plenty of pro-Obamacare propaganda.

    will be me surfing the channel guide to see what else is on

  3. Anonymiss says:

    @49 I like “Just the Way You Are”. :)

  4. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …by confusing any terrorists by holding the Super Bowl in the same stadium where the New York Giants and the New York Jets play, but not tell them it’s actually located in New Jersey.

  5. Oppo says:

    … include dog-sniffing drug agents for the Puppy Bowl.

  6. Oppo says:

    … include a warning from the FDA about consuming X-rayed food or drink.

  7. DamnCat says:

    …: complementary nacho GPS chips.

  8. Dohtimes says:

    …mandatory Imammograms at all nearby mosques.

    …no balls allowed in unless signed by the commissioner and properly inflated.

    …toilet paperless bathrooms will gather likely terrorists and pervs in confined spaces.

  9. Bob B says:

    @23 – that about sums up all my fears

  10. Bob B says:

    …include a no fly zone for blimps, especially ones painted black…

  11. Oppo says:

    @58 Dohtimes: Where do you keep that “imammograms” line? I’m going to need to steal that for some future Straight Line.

  12. CLIFF says:

    Includes random colonoscopys through racial profiling to check for Colon Bombers.

  13. Doug says:

    Other Preparations… “Preparation H” … for all of those DHS agents.

  14. Dohtimes says:

    Oppo, actually with Obamacare the DHS has partnered with a number of blind sheiks that will come by women’s houses, giving out purple nurples in lieu of costly X-rays, satisfying everyone (In Iran and the White House).

  15. Oppo says:

    They’ll start with female celebrities and models first.
    They’ll call it Shakira Law.
    (One Mosstectomy will turn them from blind sheiks to heroin sheiks)

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