Straight Line of the Day: The Latest Surprise From HealthCare.Gov…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…

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42 Comments

  1. The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…

    body piercings and tattoos are now covered under the Bronze plan, to attract younger people to sign up.

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  2. The Latest Surprise From HealthCare.Gov…

    … it was hijacked by a cat video site that made more sense.
    … the Spanglish was replaced by Obamish.
    … the girl on the home page is now a photoshop of Snowden in drag.
    … it takes thirty seconds longer for hackers to break in and steal your personal information this time.
    … it’s all cookie recipes (even Anonymiss can break into this site, fer cryin’ out loud!)

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  3. The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…

    premiums will rise 400% instead of 600% providing you with a cost cutting of 200%!

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  4. @13 & @16: All too realistic. Are you sure you don’t work for the gov’t? If not, don’t give ’em ideas!

    … There was no such thing as a free launch.

    … The fine print. (Wait; sorry. Justice Roberts has deemed it to be “tax print.”)

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  5. …Due to a shortage of Physicians, Veterinarians have been drafted to keep costs down. Those with cold wet noses should report to their PCP immediately.

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  6. ….if you like your shaman you can keep your shaman.

    ….leeches for bloodletting in order to restore the humors of the body are now covered by Obamacare.

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  7. . . . is that healthcare.gov is an anagram of the description “a hot, clever hag”, which, except for the hot part, describes a former Secretary of State.

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  8. A new home surgery kit,called SutureSelf.

    (Not mine – stolen from someone else because I thought it was funny.)

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  9. The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…

    is that the HealthCare.gov domain name was actually purchased by Russian Gangsters. Who will probably give you a better deal than the US Government.

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  10. … is that the code it was written in is all onesies and Zeros.

    … is that the default settings are all “Bush.”

    … is that every time you log on you get wreck-rolled.

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  11. @28 & 32
    …is that it is one of its chief weapons, along with fear, ruthless inefficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the democratic party.

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  12. Anyone who signs up by this weekend gets a personalized State of the Union BS Bingo card for next Tuesday night. Bingo winners will receive a choice of either a Nigerian chain letter, or something of equal value out of Mooch’s garden.

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  13. The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…

    I really can has cheezburger.

    Clicking enter FINALLY takes you to the next page

    Convicted child pornographers are exempt from signing up for Obamacare since they are not allowed to use a computer.

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  14. walruskkkch says:
    January 24th, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    The latest surprise from HealthCare.Gov…

    all your base belong us.

    “All Your Base Are Belong to Us”. Fixed it

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  15. If you like your tumor you can keep your tumor.

    Ohh, we thought you said, “Deaf panel.” Everyone on the death panel can hear quite well, thank you.

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  16. Executive Order #222,333,025: HealthCare.Gov shall be renamed, lauded and proclaimed to be deemed HealthCare.Luv – please revise your website or face felony charges punishable by death.

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