I'm not saying I was poor but my favourite toy as a kid was a brick. Of gold. I wasn't poor
— sweaty five dollars (@iscoff) January 3, 2014
"Give me the lute! Give me the lute! Give me the lute!" – Ye Olde Biggie Smalls
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 3, 2014
Zoos would be WAY cooler if they all had signs out front that said "Prisoners of WWIII: Animals vs. Humans."
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) January 3, 2014
I’ve memorized all the digits of pi. Just not in the right order.
— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) January 3, 2014
The Great Wall of China can be seen from space but if I were you, I'd just go to China.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) January 3, 2014
Surviving 2014 should be easy as long as bitcoins are edible.
— Anthony Bialy (@AnthonyBialy) January 3, 2014
Sharpton always sounds like he's as surprised by what he's saying as you are.
— Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) January 4, 2014