the first rule of martyr club is unfortunate
— @Smashmouth (@HumanPog) January 29, 2014
Ugh, I called my manager Randy "mommy" again in our meeting.
— Beau Hartenstine (@madcaplaughs30) January 29, 2014
Always give 100%, unless you're donating blood.
— MancowMuller (@MancowMuller) January 29, 2014
There's a DC cartoon called Crisis on Two Earths. When I was a kid, we had Crisis on INFINITE Earths. Damn this economy.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) January 29, 2014
Everyone prefers snails to slugs. A clear case of discrimination against the homeless.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) January 29, 2014
“Hey forget about it” – bad therapist from new york
— jon (@senderblock23) January 29, 2014
Wait, it's illegal to punch children? How else are you supposed to teach them that their taste in music is wrong?
— John Cheese (@johncheese) January 30, 2014
MSNBC's apology makes it sound their twitter feed operates autonomously. Bleep blop Republicans R racist beep oops sry
— Katie McHugh (@k_mcq) January 30, 2014