Straight Line of the Day: How Was Mexico’s Most Wanted Drug Lord Captured?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

How was Mexico’s most wanted drug lord captured?

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58 Comments

  1. It was Bush’s fault! (No, wait…)

    He was offered a Presidential Cabinet position and was accidentally arrested walking into the job interview.

    They offered him free tickets to the Super Bowl.

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  2. Showed up in court to sue Eric Clapton over the royalties from Cocaine.

    Forgot that Canada still has a border.

    DEA backtracked the footprints in the spillage from Chicago to Mexico.

    Tried to sell pot in Colorado without adding tax.

    His pile of money became hazardous to NASA’s Muslim outreach.

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  3. He insisted that the Taco Bell franchises through which he laundered his money offer Breakfast Tacos ahead of the official March 27 rollout. The number of Federales using the drive-throughs drew the attention of the DEA.

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  4. He started requiring photo ID to make a purchase, angering Democrats.

    Got greedy when Holder began Fast and Furious sombrero running scheme.

    Much easier to get votes while in Chicago jail when he runs in next presidential election.

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  5. How was Mexico’s most wanted drug lord captured?

    Sharks with frikken laser beams on their heads

    It involved a box, a string tied to a stick and a small piece of cheese

    He turned right at Albuquerque by mistake.

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  6. …since Holder is still AG, you can be certain it was unintentional.

    …he accidentally summoned the sheriff of Maricopa County when somebody offered him and his men free pastries and he exclaimed, “Our pie? Oh!”

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  7. …ACORN accidentally registered him as a Republican and every Federal agency in the U.S. immediately went after him…for no political reason whatsoever in the most transparent, equitable, and appropriate way possible and if you think otherwise you’re a racist.

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  8. …new Facebook app won’t let you PM without disclosing your GPS coordinates…and you know what happens when you’re 20 minutes late and don’t tell your girlfriend you’re running late…

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  9. How was Mexico’s most wanted drug lord captured?

    It’s a long story best suited for the deepest dark of the longest Winter’s night when strange dancing shadows of the dying fire light play tricks with a man’s eye and long draughts of Meade wend their sinews through the mind and all possibilities seem more probable than outlandish.

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