Straight Line of the Day: In Chicago, Thieves Stole 80 Tons of Salt. Why?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

In Chicago, thieves stole 80 tons of salt. Why?

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  1. …because Michelle’s family was coming and the only way Klingons can stomach Earth food is with “tons of salt”.

    …Michelle said she needed it because the slug problem in her organic pesticide-free White House garden was getting REALLY out of hand.


  2. …nearsighted alderman mistook Michelle Obama for a bird and wanted to catch her.

    …yearly capacity check of all 80 South Side bathtub breweries was nearing.

    …Rahm Emanuel’s upper lip sweating is down .003% due to .003% scandal reductions.

    …Obama needed his first batch of retroactive bad luck warding off salt yesterday if not sooner.



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