Straight Line of the Day: The Department of Justice Has New Guidelines for Investigating the Media. The Oddest One…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The Department of Justice has new guidelines for investigating the media. The oddest one…

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51 Comments

  1. The department of justice will only investigate journalists that attempt to investigate. As long as a journalist refrains from asking questions, the journalist should have no fear of a DOJ investigation. You gotta problem with that?

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  2. The Department of Justice has new guidelines for investigating the media. The oddest one… involved everyone standing around in a circle and saying, in unison…

    Meka Leka Hi Meka Hiney Ho?
    Meka Leka Hi Meka Hiney Ho?
    Meka Leka Hi Meka Chany Ho?
    Meka Leka Hi Meka Chany Ho?
    Your wish is granted…
    Long live Jambi…

    And that is how the President has managed to be so invisible to the main stream media.

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  3. The Department of Justice has new guidelines for investigating the media. The oddest one…

    can only be considered odd when placed in comparison with normal guidelines, and when one does, in fact, make such a comparison, all oddness effectively disappears. Now move along citizen, nothing to see here.

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  4. The Department of Justice has new guidelines for investigating the media. The oddest one…

    …was written by the folks that brought you healthcare.gov

    …involves duct-tape, rubber gloves and lubricant

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  5. …has the only limit placed on investigators; no pine tar above 18 inches on the investigatin’ bat.

    …suspects will be referred to as the Youdia.

    …separates the media into into three groups: Docile lap dogs, melanin deprived truth seekers and ?WTF?!!! (Alan Colmes).

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  6. The Department of Justice Has New Guidelines for Investigating the Media. The Oddest One…
    is to put the highest priority on investigating occurrences of witty banter devolving into witless blather, which is every time.

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  7. …transfers duty of poking the still writhing body of Helen Thomas with a stick every two minutes to the lowest level DoJ employees, writers for The Daily Show.

    …declares that when NBC is involved, Justice in allowed to squint, wink or look the other way.

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