Straight Line of the Day: The IRS Will Be Giving Its Employees Bonuses to Boost Morale. Other Morale-Boosters…

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The IRS will be giving its employees bonuses to boost morale. Other morale-boosters…

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  1. …involve re-instating the old Roman system for tax collection: set an amount each agent must give to the government, and allow each agent carte blanche to wring from the populace as much as they could…

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  2. 1460 days of paid vacation for members of congress.
    Complementary Blindfolds, Earmuffs and Ball gags for supreme court justices.
    Obamaphones for the NSA
    Bullet proof vests for ambassadors.
    Replacement marbles for the VP

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  3. The IRS will be giving its employees bonuses to boost morale. Other morale-boosters…

    everyone gets their own lunch time show featuring Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

    all oral reports come with back-up singers.

    22 beats 21 in all US casinos.

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  4. …resumption of the Daily Two Minute Laugh At Al Sharpton’s Last Return.

    …lowering level of incompetence that is rewarded with promotion so the slackers don’t get all of the primo jobs.

    …Pentagrams are now tax deductible for federal workers, brimstone fumes will cause building evacuations January through April.

    …IRS employees will give 50% less money to politicians to boost bonuses for IRS employees.

    …arrival and quitting time clock punching replaced by puppy punching.

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  5. … “It’s Not Only Legal, It’s Extra-Legal!” T-shirts.

    … a toy 501(c)3PO droid to play with.

    … a Mohammad Atta-boy, for destroying the American way of life.

    … space in the government bunker when Obama’s “MyRAN” policy fails.

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  6. The IRS will be giving its employees bonuses to boost morale. Other morale-boosters…

    A key-chain with the company logo.

    Free trips to exotic lands with taxpayer funded credit cards.

    Income Equality regardless of the Effort Inequality

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