Straight Line of the Day: The US Is Developing the World’s Most Powerful Laser. It Will Be Used…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

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  1. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

    to prevent hanging chads.

    for Porn.

    for cool outer space shoot outs with invading mutant aliens from Alpha Centauri.

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  2. The US Is Developing the World’s Most Powerful Laser. It Will Be Used… on next week’s episode of Mythbusters to see if it really is possible to cook an entire house full of popcorn.

    (thank you for the memory jog Can of Spam. That was, in its own way, a really good movie)

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  3. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used … to light up Obama’s blunts. We’re talking like the optimum of Choom Gang absorption here, like maybe even total, baby! The only down side is that the Surgeon General has determined that smoking your own lips can be hazardous to your health.

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  4. …to reestablish Mans dominion over clamshell packaged consumer goods.

    …by the Secret Service to protect The Worlds Most Powerful Loser.

    …to eliminate height inequality.

    …sporadically, after the carpenters and painters are finished, and after the carpenters and painters are finished and so on.

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  5. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

    …to warm up NASA’s coldest place in the universe.

    …to make holes in donuts

    …to poke holes in the atmosphere to let out some CO2. (Libs sure hate plants and trees)

    …as a portal to bring Howard the Duck to Earth

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