Straight Line of the Day: The US Is Developing the World’s Most Powerful Laser. It Will Be Used…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

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58 Comments

  1. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

    to eliminate all walnuts for cookies.

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  2. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

    with much regret, remorse and hand-wringing.

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  3. …to destroy all evil carbon-producing power plants around the globe, until it unexpectedly runs out of power…

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  4. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

    to prevent hanging chads.

    for Porn.

    for cool outer space shoot outs with invading mutant aliens from Alpha Centauri.

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  5. …to perform reverse-LASIK on the eyes of the nation’s “journalists,” so that they see Obama surrounded by a halo 100% of the time (instead of the current 95%).

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  6. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

    mostly by the Chinese and Russians to great affect.

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  7. To target those who have not yet signed up for Obamacare.

    Instead of guns . . . as a ‘green’ alternative.

    . . . Who knows, we have to fund the laser before we know what it will do.

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  8. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

    only after the Pentagon asks, “Mother Nanny-state, May I?”

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  9. The US Is Developing the World’s Most Powerful Laser. It Will Be Used… on next week’s episode of Mythbusters to see if it really is possible to cook an entire house full of popcorn.

    (thank you for the memory jog Can of Spam. That was, in its own way, a really good movie)

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  10. … by the Obama administration to challenge our enemies to a game of laser tag, while they instead choose to play AK-47 tag.

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  11. … to bore pinhole-sized openings in Muslim terrorists, to the accompaniment of the quip, “See ya laser, Allah-gazer!”

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  12. …to open a portal to the 8th Dimension. (now THAT’S an obscure 80’s movie reference!)

    …at the Pink Floyd reunion concert.

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  13. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used … to light up Obama’s blunts. We’re talking like the optimum of Choom Gang absorption here, like maybe even total, baby! The only down side is that the Surgeon General has determined that smoking your own lips can be hazardous to your health.

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  14. …to reestablish Mans dominion over clamshell packaged consumer goods.

    …by the Secret Service to protect The Worlds Most Powerful Loser.

    …to eliminate height inequality.

    …sporadically, after the carpenters and painters are finished, and after the carpenters and painters are finished and so on.

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  15. @31 Just watched it before the Super Bowl. The half time show should have been those hard rockin’ scientists, The Hong Kong Cavaliers.

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  16. The US Is Developing the World’s Most Powerful Laser. It Will Be Used…

    to blow you head clean off, so you have to ask yourself. “Do I feel lucky”? Well do ya? Punk!

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  17. … as a battering ram (or doorstop) by the Smartest Administration Ever ™.

    … to prove global warming exists, one square inch at a time.

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  18. … as a battering ram (or doorstop) by the Smartest Administration Ever ™.

    … to prove global warming exists, one square inch at a time.

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  19. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

    …to warm up NASA’s coldest place in the universe.

    …to make holes in donuts

    …to poke holes in the atmosphere to let out some CO2. (Libs sure hate plants and trees)

    …as a portal to bring Howard the Duck to Earth

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  20. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…

    to easily kill you or go fishing.

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  21. The US is developing the world’s most powerful laser. It will be used…
    With appreciation to replies 13 and 53,
    To torment cats…

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