Come on, we just don’t have the resources anymore to fight two wars at once. We already have a war on poverty, and a war on on fat kids, we just can’t fight a war on jobs and money! Maybe we can do a drone strike on jobs and money?
Wait, we already did that with GM, Chrysler, Wall Street, Solyndra,…but that was more of a war on bankruptcy, which ironically caused Detroit to go bankrupt.
How’s the war on gun trafficking to Mexican Cartels going? Terrible, you say? Oh, my bad, that actually was us trafficking guns to Mexican Cartels. I guess that was a Mexican diplomatic mission.
Well, at least our war on the lack of heath insurance is going well! Wait…what?
Ok, I’ve just been told that we’ve located Jobs and Money in a compound in Switzerland, and I’m personally ordering Seal Team 6 on a covert Overseas Contingency Mission to take them out.
After which, Jobs and Money will be given a traditional burial at sea, in keeping with Jobs and Money’s muslim traditions.
Or are they Jewish? Either way, I just hope those Corpse Men don’t think a burial at sea means to drench them in salty piss! That would be an international embarrassment that we just don’t need right now.
Well, if that happens, I can blame it on that last President.
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