What if a liberal had to actually think?

Posted on February 27, 2014 9:00 am

CanadaFlagLeafLiberals (or “progressives” for those that think that moniker disguises their ill-thought philosophy) in America must really be thankful that this next item is happening in Canada, and not here in the U.S.

Liberals have a way of supporting certain people for specific reasons without having to put any thought into it. For instance, if someone is gay, then they’re automatically worthy of praise. If someone is a Moslem, that person is in the right all the time. And, of course, if someone is a liberal politician, they can drive an Oldsmobile off a bridge and leave a woman underwater to die and be a hero. There’s no thought involved. If they are one of you, or one of your pet causes — maybe they think of them as pets? — you automatically support them, damn the facts of the situation. No thought necessary.

There’s a situation the Canadians are having to deal with up in Toronto that would drive a liberal nuts. Well, liberals are already nuts, so, more nuts. Seems a lesbian walked into a Moslem barber shop and asked for a haircut:

Shop co-owner Omar Mahrouk told her his Muslim faith prohibits him from touching a woman who is not a member of his family. All the other barbers said the same thing.

Now, she’s filed a complaint with some rights commission or whatever it is the Canadians have up there in Canadia. They’ll end up doing some Canadian thing, and it will probably be stupid unless it involves hockey, beer, and a moose. If they resolved it with hockey, beer, and a moose, that would be awesome.

I’m just waiting on something like this to happen here in the U.S. Imagine the situation liberals would be in. They’d have to pick a side. They’d have to think about it. And, goodness knows, liberals don’t have the capacity to think.

Then, again, maybe we could go one better than the Canadians. What do you think would be an even better situation to happen here in the U.S.? One that would involve two of liberals’ pets going at each other? What story would you like to see happen?

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32 Responses to “What if a liberal had to actually think?”

  1. Oppo says:

    Sean Penn partying with a murderer of low-income people of color.

    Oh . . . you meant a made-up scenario. Life sometimes outpaces parody.

  2. Oppo says:

    A self-identifying heterosexual male being barred from the girl’s locker room solely on the basis of his sexual orientation.

  3. AwesometificAmerican says:

    Liberals already have a mechanism in place for just such an emergency. It follows the dicta that “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.” There is a hierarchy in place for protected classes of people and it can rotate depending on which class is the most popular at this time and the potential for reprisal from said class. Also the more classes you can fit into the more equal you are. If what had happened in Canada happened in the use the Liberals will side with the lesbian over the Moslem. The reasoning is she falls into two protected classes (women and gays) and right now gay issues trump Moslem ones in this country. Now if she was black, I mean African-American (what do they call black people in Canada? African-Canadian?) Then she would have scored an unbeatable triple class and any discussion on the subject would be strictly prohibited. Now since the other guys were Moslem and a protected liberal class they will be let off with the lightest of punishments as say if it was a Christian establishment.

  4. Harvey says:

    @3 – Already saw it: the 2008 Dem primary race between Hillary and Barack.

  5. Oppo says:

    Raising the minimum wage, putting more blacks and Hispanics out of work. … Damn! Reality beat me to inanity again!

  6. Travelwise42 says:

    2 skin-heads who are also dues paying Klan members, enter a black-owned bakery to have
    a birthday cake made with a gallows & noose of spun sugar atop!

  7. Rayfan87 says:

    In this case it’s simple: sexuality trumps religion. If they give special exemptions to camel jockeys, they have to give them to Christians, and everybody knows christians are the root of all evil not caused by guns or wealth inequality.

  8. Oppo says:

    The NSA decrypting Code Pink.

    Due to Obamacare downsizing, yelling “Fired!” in a crowded movie theater.

  9. Travelwise42 says:

    A “Media Matters” operative gives the wrong information to a disgruntled Muslim who intends to burn a church to the ground but instead
    torches a Gay men’s club called “For Members Only”.

    Harry Reid is treated for smoke inhalation…

  10. AwesometificAmerican says:

    @4-Excatly in that case black trumps woman. Plus that pesky bit in the Constitution that says a woman can’t be president..

  11. c64wood says:

    Environ”mental”ists and their windmills vs. the Animal rights and the dead birds as a result of said windmills

  12. CCO says:

    Well, shoot, c64wood, I think you have it; I was going to say snail darters and atheists.

  13. Peregrine John says:

    @7 – Odds are they think Christians cause both bullets and income inequality, saving them yet another synaptic jump.

    I’m actually waiting for an example to show whether race or sex pref ranks higher.

    Whatever situation actually shows up, I’ll need to be sure my popcorn supply is in order.

  14. Steve H says:

    @10 – Regardless of liberal lip-service for women’s causes, liberals won’t vote to have a woman in charge of them (except for the mommies-boyz). They will claim to the pollsters they voted for the woman, but they’d be lying (imagine that!).

  15. Harvey says:

    @13 – based on Obama’s 2008 nomination, I’ll say race. Keep in mind that Barack is not actually a descendant of American slaves, so Hillary, as a woman, was more “oppressed” (especially since she had a cheating husband). Wrong color skin, though.

  16. AwesometificAmerican says:

    Dont make the error in assuming logic is a componet of this formula in any way. The More Equal status is a moving bar that can change due to a variety of factors and of the needs of the moment. Often you can use hindsight to determine why a certain class got preffered treatment at that moment. Also protected groups realize that from time to time they must sacrifice thier status in deference to another group because eventually they will get to do the same thing. They depend on an ever shifting formula of class, mulit class, sub class, feeling, current goal and overall goals. They believe in everything and nothing at the same time and stymie the conservative every time because we always think that logic, rules and honesty are universal concepts understood and accepted by all.

  17. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    If she was smart, she would have said, but today I’m self identifying as a man and I really wish I was one and since Muslims celebrate diversity, being the religion of peace and all, would have gladly given her the man look she came in for.
    If she was ….normal, she wouldn’t be going in a mans barber shop to begin with.

    I bet the government gives them both millions.

  18. Greg says:

    #3-I think it will really get down to ‘Who is most likely to blow stuff up” I know the Dykes on Bikes Motorcycle Club is pretty scary, but I don’t think they can defeat Mohammed Alahua Akbar putting out a fatwa. I think the “women in comfortable shoes & flannel” are going to lose out in this case.

  19. silaS marreD says:

    I didn’t read this post because I am sick of “A Lesbian, a Moslem, and a Canadian walk into a bar”ber jokes.

  20. TXL says:

    Westboro baptist church (die in a fire morons) walks into a gay owned print shop and demands they make G*d Hates F%gs signs to protest whatever idiotic crap those morons do.

  21. Veeshir says:

    Read up on the Muslims in Minnesota.
    There was an instance where some refused to touch pork products like bacon and whatnot, while working at a supermarket. It was all about religious freedom.

    Also, the taxi drivers who refused to pick up people with booze in the duty-free bags and people with seeing-eye dogs.

    There were more instances there.

    As I recall, some were resolved in the side of freedom, some were not.

    It’s not always easy figuring out the hierarchy of victim groups.

    Too bad we didn’t have a document, something like a constitution, that would allow us to resolve these matters without relying on victim group status.

  22. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Where did you people learn to spell? “Moslem” is not a word so you must all be racists.

    Does she only get one chance to sue or can she keep trying different theories of why she was discriminated against until she wins?

  23. Basil says:


  24. Jimmy says:

    @22: The correct spelling of “Moslem” is “Moose Lamb.” Basil warned us about Canadian mooses.

  25. AT says:

    I love that she named her haircut according to gender roles.

  26. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Oh, now I get it, I guess all the good translators are busy at the welfare office.
    So wtf is a Makkah? It looks like Macaca so it must be racist too.

  27. jw says:

    @26 highlight, right click


  28. Tater Salad says:

    @26 Makkah = Mecca. Infidels take offramp to right.

  29. D-Rock says:

    They already had the problem. They solved it by calling George Zimmerman white. If the victim had not been black, they would have been ramming down our throat that he’s innocent, and it’s racist to be stereotyping hispanics as violent.

  30. Uncle George says:

    A rich white gay lesbian goes into a bakery owned by poor black Moslem wymmin and orders a birthday cake iced with the rebel flag (done in bacon, natch) and topped with burning crosses and nooses. . . .

  31. Tater Salad says:

    @30: Ellen Degeneres wouldn’t go into the shop. She’d have her underpaid, lesbian gay personal assistant phone in the order and have it delivered.

    Rosie O’Donnell on the other hand would walk in, with a live razorback under her arm, slaughter the piggie right in front of them, fling it at the black africamerican Moslems, insisting they make the bacon from scratch, before demanding that in addition to rebel flags, that the cake be decorated with little plastic klansmen and biker dykes. Were the shopowners to refuse, Rosie would just shriek, roar and wreck the place before calling the ACLU.

  32. @boston_bubba says:

    Black babies are disproportionately aborted in this country. But leftists have already made their choice in that battle; NOTHING must come between them and their high sacrament.

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