My agent finally came through. Booked me on @jayleno next week.
— Pat Sajak (@patsajak) February 7, 2014
Can't wait for Costas to host tonight's eye opening ceremonies.
— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) February 7, 2014
‘Talk dirtily to me’ – Grammar Nazi pervert.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) February 7, 2014
I checked my bed for monsters but found nary a one. Yeah, the boogeyman was under there but name one monstrous thing he's done.
— Mickey McCauley (@Mickey_McCauley) February 7, 2014
"What is the messiest possible delivery mechanism for this marinara?" - The origins of spaghetti
— Everyday Hobo (@UpscaleHobo) February 8, 2014
Subway's new thing is they put Fritos on a sandwich? We've all really given up, haven't we.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) February 8, 2014
People get weird if you babysit without being asked.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) February 8, 2014