For Frank: How to Get Out of Jury Duty

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[How to Get Out of Jury Duty ] (Viewer #14,010)

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  1. “Really? You were a victim of murder?” “Yes.”

    I actually want to sit on a jury, but no-one will let me. I am a lawyer; they think I will try to usurp the role of the judge and explain the law to the ignorant rubes serving with me.

  2. Neither lawyers, cops (current or retired), nor psychologists or psychiatrists will be let on to a jury. If the defendant is guilty, the defense won’t want them, if innocent, the prosecution won’t want them.
    Now, if you aren’t a lawyer, cop, or pshrink, and you are determined to avoid jury duty, all you have to say when being polled is, “I don’t know the defendant, but he/she is guilty as hell, and I’m looking forward to making them fry.”
    Or, you can ask the judge to explain jury nullification to you. You’ll be out of there so fast, you’ll violate laws of physics.

  3. This is what worked for me when I filled out the juror questionnaire —

    1. Are you a registered voter? – Yes
    2 What is your party affiliation? – Republican
    3. Do you belong to any organizations? – National Rifle Association
    4. What is your occupation? – Engineer

    I think those were the 4 that got me selected for four different juries by the prosecuting attorney – and thrown off by the defense attorney without being asked one question.


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