Random Thoughts: Climate Change, Shelia Jackson Lee, and Wedlock

Posted on March 13, 2014 9:03 am

A good way for Obama to shake the lame duck image would be to start nuking things.

It’s climate change, not global warming. It can change in other ways than getting hotter like getting colder or transforming into a werewolf.

So are we to assume Obama was unable to get any current boy bands to come visit him?

I wish in Legend of Zelda you could fill an empty bottle with espresso so you could get a hyperlink.

So have Republicans developed strategies to deal with the popularity and success of Obamacare in the midterms?

Have some sympathy; if you felt it was your job to prop up Obama, you’d be very angry all the time too.

“I really like freedom. But I also really like telling other people what to do.” -most everyone

So far Obamacare has gone about as well as you can expect for a bill made by arrogant idiots who have no idea how money works.

As a historian, I’m pretty sure Lincoln would have killed Zach Galifianakis with an axe and then guzzled some Everclear.

Seems like more shame should be directed at the voters for these moron Reps who inexplicably keep returning to Congress.

Maybe Sheila Jackson Lee needs to go to Vox and have the news explained to her.

80 million years ago, the Constitution was written after America defeated the Persians in Sparta.

Those of us who don’t like government are angry because it keeps getting bigger but the people who like government seem even angrier.

I guess the way to not be angry is to be one of those people who think the current Vice President is Dick Cheney.

I once heard of a story of a person who wasn’t sure what party Obama belonged. God bless him.

Everything is a racist codeword if you’re a moron.

Out of curiosity, what is Putin’s stated opinion on Joseph Stalin?

Maybe it would help stop people from having kids out of wedlock if we stopped using such scary-sounding terms for marriage like “wedlock.”

How about a Logan’s Run type thing, but for politicians who have spent a certain number of terms in Congress.

Don’t end up like me, stuck in wedlock and punished with babies.

“Far East” is offensive. I was unaware.

There’s so much offensive stuff to keep track everyone should stop assuming people know what’s offensive or not.

Where do I get the codebook to find out what hidden racist messages Republicans have for me?

God made sure the T. rex had tiny arms because if it had normal-size arms it would still be around today and it would be unstoppable.

The younger generation doesn’t appreciate parties as much as they didn’t have to fight for their right to party.

Apparently there is a very high burnout rate for playing Dr. Who.

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10 Responses to “Random Thoughts: Climate Change, Shelia Jackson Lee, and Wedlock”

  1. Basil says:

    Apparently there is a very high burnout rate for playing Dr. Who.

    They are afraid of being typecast. As evidence, William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, and Jon Pertwee haven’t been offered non-Doctor Who-related roles in years.

  2. Veeshir says:

    “I really like freedom. But I also really like telling other people what to do.” -most everyone

    I would say it’s not “most everyone” but “everyone”.
    Now I don’t like telling people what to do but I surely do tell people to leave me alone a lot.

    As for Dr. Who, could be worse, think of the turnover of people who play Superman.

  3. Larry E says:

    “I’m pretty sure Lincoln would have killed Zach Galifianakis with an axe and then guzzled some Everclear.”

    Well, he was human, after all. But I reckon he had a taste for Kentucky bourbon.

    Then again, Old Abe was known as a “rail-splitter,” not a “tool-splitter.”

  4. Frank J. says:

    Basil,
    With a little bit of Google, I got that joke. Well done!

  5. Harvey says:

    So… what is the evolutionary advantage in T-Rex having short, spindly arms? I mean, how is that the giraffe’s neck of reptilian predatordom?

  6. Frank J. says:

    Harvey,
    It helps the T. rex stay out of trouble since he won’t even bother trying to shoplift.

  7. Les says:

    And fortunately, it prevented the development of a line of annoying T. rex street jugglers.

  8. zzyzx says:

    The dinosaurs failed to sign up for Obama care and so they all suffered painful horrible deaths and went extinct! ~ Kathleen Sebelius

  9. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    “Far East” is offensive. I was unaware.

    Well it’s about time, Near Eastern Americans have missed out on years of victimhood. Now all they need is some hate crimes named for them.

  10. AT says:

    Am… am I supposed to be offended when someone refers to me as a “Westerner” or “from the Western World?”

    How about “American?” Because, like, that’s kind of lumping me in with those filthy Canadians.

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