Random Thoughts: CPAC, War on Women, and Colbert

So when do I teach my kids about strangers and land sharks?

The only reason I’m humble is that I’m so awesome that it takes way too long to explain exactly how great I am.

One of these days I’ll make it to CPAC. Don’t bother going until then.

I am told the trailer for the new Transformers movie is worth watching. I am incredulous.

In the War on Women I’ve been accused of sleeping with the enemy.

I thought we ended the War on Women with the Great Sammich Compromise of ’83?

If you bump into the president and say, “Pardon me.” and he nods, are you now pardoned for all your crimes?

I understand why people find Stephen Colbert funny, but I’ve always found him insufferable myself.

I hope no one finds out I made Bitcoin.

To Whom It May Concern: Those strong feelings you have aren’t actually outrage; it’s partisanship.

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  1. In the battle of the sexes, you don’t “lose the battle, but win the war.” The war never ends.

    “I thought we ended the War on Women with the Great Sammich Compromise of ’83?”

    No, Frank, there’s more.

    The “You Do Dishes Treaty of ’92”, supplanted by the “But I Cooked Dinner Armistice of ’99” finally resulted in the “Just Take-out the Freaking Garbage! Resolution of ’02” – which is also being violated.


  2. There were also the Munich Pause, The Treaty of West Feel Ya, the Treaty of Her Sighs, and the Dreyfuss Affair (where he emphatically pointed out that he didn’t like the panties hanging on the shower).


  3. I hope you got a bag of barganing chips with that sammich, because the kitchen has now been declared a no-fries zone.


  4. “Stephen Colbert funny”…??? He’s a tiresome jackass, and his shtick got old about five minutes after he started it. Plus, in every picture you see of him, he’s making some outlandish jackass face — like that’s really sophisticated, ironic wit.

    He’s the Poor Man’s Borat — in my humble opinion.



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