We do understand, right, that under no circumstances whatsoever would Democrats admit Republicans aren’t racist? Why listen to them on this?
It would be funny if FOX announced “We’re bringing Firefly back!” and then released a Duck Soup reboot.
Netflix getting the government to enforce “Net Neutrality” would be a good example of cronyism.
I love Netflix, but I’m not going to pretend I _deserve_ it and the government has to step in to make sure I can keep streaming it.
“Multiple skull fractures, and what’s your story, Jill?”
“He fell fetching a pail of water.”
“And I’m sure you tumbled right after him.”
If you can build a better mousetrap, no one really cares anymore. Should’ve built an app instead.
The great thing about being married with kids is I no longer feel like a loser for staying home and watching TV Friday night.
FRIENDS: “It’s Friday night! Let’s go do something.”
ME: “But Firefly is on; it looks like it could be good.”
Man, I missed a lot of original airings of Firefly episodes to try and not be a loser. Wasn’t worth it.
“Daddy, what’s Britain?”
“It’s an island far away that makes quality programming for PBS.”
My advice to Democrats it that you should run on gun control and Obamcare in 2014. But keep in mind I hate you.
I hate all politicians, so don’t feel special. I wish you could all lose every election, but our stupid system means one of you has to win.
Non-biodegradable products are awful. If you have any, throw them out.
What’s difference between “bitches” and “hos”? Trying to figure which is appropriate term when I’m rapping about how much I love my wife.
Brewed myself a cup of coffee using the pour over method for the first time. I declare it a success. Of course, I’ve never once in my life said about a cup coffee “This is too strong.”
“Hey, sweetie, with the pour over method, the coffee has almost a fruity flavor to it. Try a sip.”
“Tastes like motor oil.”
Staying home from church with sick daughter. Don’t think I’ll catch what she has, though, unless I feel the urge to eat a ton of lip gloss.