Random Thoughts: Fracking, 2017, and Freedom

A good strategy for a Democrat running in a red state in 2014 would be to claim to be a double agent trying to take Obama down from inside. “But keep it quiet.”

Now that oil companies can cause earthquakes with their fracking, maybe people should be nicer to them.

“They fracked so hard, it caused an earthquake.” -anti-oil protestor or really dirty line from Battlestar Galactica

They should do a Duck Soup reboot where Russia tries to annex Freedonia.

Obama is really looking forward to 2017 when he gets his presidential participation trophy.

“I’M NOT LEAVING UNTIL SOMEONE LETS ME BE CLEAR!” -Obama, January 20, 2017

I think Obama will be happy to leave in 2017… unless Hillary wins, since she’ll rip out his heart and eat it to gain his powers.

Easy way for Obama to pwn Putin: Have dinner with him with lots of beans. When Putin farts, make sure he’s stuck with nickname “Tootin’.”

That foreign policy advice will be one million dollars.

Hey, look, Fred Phelps brought everyone together!

It would be nice if you had to demonstrate your economic theories in World of Warcraft before trying them on the real world.

Don’t you see, people? They’re just bouncing a ball back and forth on a court to no purpose! It’s madness! PURE MADNESS!

Is there a sort of insurance I can buy to protect my finances against people electing Democrats?

Freedom means that if someone has more money than you, you don’t just take it by force. People don’t like freedom.

Sometimes we need to stop arguing politics and just acknowledge that regardless of our views, we all care enough to boss each other around.

Hurm. You can tip through the new Starbucks app. There goes my excuse that I never have cash on me.

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14 Comments

  1. Is there a sort of insurance I can buy to protect my finances against people electing Democrats?

    You mean like a kind of “political hedge fund?”

    Well, just like our country, Frank, the fund would be broke all the time.

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  2. “They should do a Duck Soup reboot where Russia tries to annex Freedonia.”

    Well, you’ve hit the nail on the head there, but in the current Marx comedy, Crouch-o (Obama), Chic-o (Kerry), and HARP-o (Wasserman-Schultz) aren’t funny this time around.

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  3. “Easy way for Obama to pwn Putin: Have dinner with him with lots of beans. When Putin farts, make sure he’s stuck with nickname “Tootin’.””

    And if Barry manages to get behind him, he’ll be a Putin, Tootin’, plowed boy.

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  4. “Hurm. You can tip through the new Starbucks app. There goes my excuse that I never have cash on me.”

    My oldest, computer-scientist son is like that. Never carries cash. Me, I always have a wallet full. Don’t you just love the feel of phony, fiat currency “slipping through your fingers all the time?” [I get an automatic +1 for the ABBA reference.]

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