Grr, the one day of year those drunken potato-lickers aren’t ashamed to show their faces.
The luck of the Irish only applies to finding bars.
“Thanks for getting rid o’ the snake, St. Patrick!”
“All I did was put my garden hose back in the shed, you drunken idiots!”
“An increase in minimum wage will increase jobs!” In what universe? Because in this one we have something called math.
A minimum wage increase is a forced increase in the price of labor. What happens when you increase the price of something?
This is like arguing Apple could sell more iPads by increasing the price a hundred bucks.
Why does Russia even want Ukraine? Seems like an awful place to live; it’s always getting invaded.
It seems like modern economic thought is all about convincing us that freedom is bad and that we should ignore math.
When scientists talk about the first microsecond of the universe, I like to keep in mind they still haven’t figured out why animals yawn.
“There is no statute of limitations on murder.” Make sure to check out my short story “Who Murdered the Dinosaurs?”.
I’m going to keep pimping it until you all read it, so you might as well get it done. And sign up at Liberty Island and review it, too.
Die Hard is not a St. Patrick’s Day movie.
iPhone was stuck thinking headphones were in it, but fixed itself over the night. I think water must have gotten in there and shorted things.
“Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.” -Santa asking for a Class III weapon registration form at the ATF
Santa is a member of the NRA and frequently carries. He goes into a lot of bad neighborhoods late at night.
And we’re absolutely sure there was a plane.