Straight Line of the Day: A 5.1 Magnitude Earthquake Hit Los Angeles. Liberals Are Upset Because…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

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38 Comments

  1. …because L.A. can’t have the area declared a federally funded disaster zone because the entire state already is one.

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  2. A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

    it didn’t get amnesty.

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  3. A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

    the proper EPA environmental impact forms weren’t filled out.

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  4. … their lattes spilled.
    … Barack should’ve flown in and rescued them.
    … they paid for a 7.5 magnitude at Earthquakes-R-Us. (the difference was lost in taxes, next time read the fine print)

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  5. … while they admit LA has to be high on the list, San Francisco is WAY more due for divine judgment.

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  6. … disability won’t cover their Earthquake Anxiety Syndrome.

    … not enough young people were hurt enough to sign up for Obamacare.

    … nobody outside of California cares.

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  7. …it was obviously caused by climate change!
    …they can’t prove it, but are certain the Koch brothers are behind this!

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  8. A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

    …the news coverage was focused on something besides them.

    …it’s their MO to always be upset about something.

    …their gray poupon spilled

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  9. A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

    women and minorities were supposedly hardest hit.

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  10. …disgusting, obese kids keep jiggling long after quake stops.

    …no buildings collapsed and being buried under debris is preferable to attending another in a never ending stream of gay-centric events.

    …60% of Pelosi’s Friday sutures split, meaning 4 plastic surgeons a Satan were busy all weekend repairing the damage.

    …poopy pants methane futures hit an all time high.

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  11. They were so hopeful that with this one the rest of the US would split off and sink into the Atlantic.

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  12. …state law requires all video to be shot with shaky cams, first time in years everything looked normal.

    …population of idiots could not grasp 5.1 until they were told it was half a Milton Berle, THEN they all started screaming.

    …none of the 14,000 accidental gender reassignments were covered by Obamacare.

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  13. …it nearly caused Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell to collide, which would have triggered a disaster of Biblical proportions.

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  14. A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because they couldn’t find a way to blame it on Global Warming!!!® Climate Change.™

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  15. because Obama didn’t announce that if you like your after shocks, you can keep your after shocks.i

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