Straight Line of the Day: A 5.1 Magnitude Earthquake Hit Los Angeles. Liberals Are Upset Because…

Posted on March 31, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

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38 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: A 5.1 Magnitude Earthquake Hit Los Angeles. Liberals Are Upset Because…”

  1. Bob B says:

    …because the damage wasn’t distributed fairly.

  2. Bob B says:

    …they’re all shook up…

  3. Bob B says:

    …it wasn’t their fault.

  4. walruskkkch says:

    A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

    They are Liberals.

  5. apostic says:

    …because L.A. can’t have the area declared a federally funded disaster zone because the entire state already is one.

  6. walruskkkch says:

    A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

    it didn’t get amnesty.

  7. Bob B says:

    …it couldn’t be conclusively linked to those dastardly frackers.

  8. walruskkkch says:

    A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

    the proper EPA environmental impact forms weren’t filled out.

  9. Steve H says:

    … their lattes spilled.
    … Barack should’ve flown in and rescued them.
    … they paid for a 7.5 magnitude at Earthquakes-R-Us. (the difference was lost in taxes, next time read the fine print)

  10. can of spam says:

    … they still can’t get the San Andreas renamed to “Bush’s Fault”.

  11. can of spam says:

    … all of their cookies crumbled.

  12. can of spam says:

    … causing the collapse of the cities is THEIR job.

  13. can of spam says:

    … math is hard… why can’t they just call it a “5”?

  14. Bob B says:

    ..March earthquakes are unseasonable – it’s traditionally mud slide season now.

  15. can of spam says:

    … while they admit LA has to be high on the list, San Francisco is WAY more due for divine judgment.

  16. Tater Salad says:

    @ 15

    Not “divine judgement” but “karma” or “heavy bummers”. We’re talking LA.

  17. can of spam says:

    @16: Whoops. I must still be stuck on “midwest” lingo mode.

  18. Bob B says:

    …there wasn’t enough damage to warrant a massively wasteful earthquake relief bill.

  19. AT says:

    … disability won’t cover their Earthquake Anxiety Syndrome.

    … not enough young people were hurt enough to sign up for Obamacare.

    … nobody outside of California cares.

  20. Steve H says:

    … it distracted from the 24/7 TV coverage of MH370.

  21. Steve H says:

    … it crashed the ObamanationCare web site.

  22. coldguy says:

    …it was obviously caused by climate change!
    …they can’t prove it, but are certain the Koch brothers are behind this!

  23. Dave says:

    …it’s just another Koch scheme to make it harder for minorities to vote.

  24. Burt says:

    …they were forced to share their thunder with Yellowstone.

  25. Kelly says:

    God (or other deity) rocked their world and Obama didn’t.

  26. c64wood says:

    A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

    …the news coverage was focused on something besides them.

    …it’s their MO to always be upset about something.

    …their gray poupon spilled

  27. FormerHostage says:

    …it’s their default setting.

    …it’s Monday.

  28. walruskkkch says:

    A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because…

    women and minorities were supposedly hardest hit.

  29. Dohtimes says:

    …disgusting, obese kids keep jiggling long after quake stops.

    …no buildings collapsed and being buried under debris is preferable to attending another in a never ending stream of gay-centric events.

    …60% of Pelosi’s Friday sutures split, meaning 4 plastic surgeons a Satan were busy all weekend repairing the damage.

    …poopy pants methane futures hit an all time high.

  30. CrabbyOldBat says:

    . . . Fox Faux News refused to attribute the ‘quake to climate change.

  31. Bob B says:

    …that’s the way the cookie crumbles…

  32. Burt says:

    They were so hopeful that with this one the rest of the US would split off and sink into the Atlantic.

  33. Dohtimes says:

    …state law requires all video to be shot with shaky cams, first time in years everything looked normal.

    …population of idiots could not grasp 5.1 until they were told it was half a Milton Berle, THEN they all started screaming.

    …none of the 14,000 accidental gender reassignments were covered by Obamacare.

  34. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …it nearly caused Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell to collide, which would have triggered a disaster of Biblical proportions.

  35. Writer says:

    … it didn’t hit only their selected Conservative targets.

  36. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    A 5.1 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles. Liberals are upset because they couldn’t find a way to blame it on Global Warming!!!® Climate Change.™

  37. Mark L. says:

    because they want the minimum earthquake raised to 9.25.

  38. CLIFF says:

    because Obama didn’t announce that if you like your after shocks, you can keep your after shocks.i

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