Straight Line of the Day: China’s Main Complaint About Michelle Obama During Her Visit…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

China’s main complaint about Michelle Obama during her visit…

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46 Comments

  1. … she forgot to bring dog recipes to share.
    … the presents she brought were all that cheap Made in China crap.
    … no valuable military secrets this time.

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  2. China’s main complaint about Michelle Obama during her visit…

    A little to socialist for their tastes.

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  3. China’s main complaint about Michelle Obama during her visit…

    weren’t any different than America’s.

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  4. China’s main complaint about Michelle Obama during her visit…

    her butt blocked two traffic on the Great Wall.

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  5. …that they couldn’t fit a woman with that big a caboose into a Mao suit.

    …how she wanted to make them eat more vegetables and get more exercise by playing kickball.

    …how she wanted to redecorate the tombs of Mao and Chou En Lai

    …that she wanted to meet the driver of that tank in Tiannamen Square and ask him why he didn’t just run that guy down.

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  6. …her contribution to the “cultural exchange”? An I Pad loaded with her hubby’s best teleprompter work…and “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

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  7. China’s Main Complaint About Michelle Obama During Her Visit…

    …she beat everyone at basketball.

    …she arrived

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  8. …is that whenever she would greet anyone she would say the only Chinese words she knew, “Me love you long time”.

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  9. …she scares the children.

    …was the human sacrifices she required.

    …was her extreme socialist attitudes.

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  10. That she didn’t bring along LeVar Burton, Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner, or any of the other cast members.

    She tried to sneak her bat’leth through customs.

    She insisted on eating her Racht half dead.

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  11. … when she unpatriotically asked the Bank of China for a vacation advance of a couple of trillion dollars.

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  12. …needed her limo seat to be at least a Yao Ming wide.

    …her mom has caused the next New Years firecrackers to be used up early and she hasn’t even been scared away.

    …constant griping about how skinny the stray dog population is.

    …insisted on visiting Chinatown in each city to get a taste of authentic Chinese culture.

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  13. “is that whenever she would greet anyone she would say the only Chinese words she knew, “Me ruv you rong time”“.

    Fixed it.

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  14. …was her insistance that everytime she was introduced they play Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” as she walked on stage.

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  15. …was how in every new city she visited she would say, ” Wow, look at all the foreigners.”

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  16. …flat out insisted she was promised one ton of soup and she was NOT ready fo the main course.

    …insisted on wearing white for tennis games even though she kept getting mounted by a panda.

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  17. …when she declared Chairman Mao “a half-assed, pretender punk who wasn’t half the communist my husband is.”

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  18. …the difficulty in keeping Malia and Sasha distracted while they were reverse engineering the security on Air Force One. ‘We would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids’

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  19. …boy that woman can sure put away gagh!

    …she keeps inadvertently stomping on villages.

    …she keeps calling everyone racist because she hasn’t seen a single black Chinese person (African-Chinese I guess would be the liberal term)

    …Chinese gagh only seems to satisfy her appetite for about an hour.

    …her gift of organic pesticide-free non-GMO vegetables were disappointing, especially since they started rotting before Air Force One even got out of American airspace.

    …kept insisting she wants barbequed panda ribs.

    …eats more calories in 1 meal than entire villages are allocated for a week.

    …doesn’t understand that as a woman, the Chinese were expecting her to just stay in her closet and wait for a man to tell her it’s time ot leave.

    …doesn’t understand that if she were a Chinese citizen she would have been forced by the government to abort both of her daughters…for free.

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  20. … is that she brought a staff of seventy (70!) at taxpayer expense, to stay in a presidential suite that was deemed in December too expensive for Joe Biden to stay in.

    (The Chinese are more sympathetic to me, an American taxpayer, than the Obamas are.)

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  21. …every time there was a misunderstanding, she blamed it on the Confucian.

    …she kept trying to challenge Godzilla to a fight.

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  22. …her American Liberal math skills convinced her that this China WOULD fit in the White House china cabinet and kept tying to wrap it in newspaper.

    …kept waiting for Guinness World Record judge to show up for biggest butt kissing ever as 1.4 billion peasants stood by idle, but grimacing.

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  23. #31 – Burt,
    Scoobie-Snack Bacon to you, sir!

    … Kept hocking loogies on the door handles up and down the corridor at the hotel when they thought no one was looking.

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  24. …her constant insistence on participating in a Chinese fire drill when the entourage would be on the road.

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  25. She eat all our robster. She eat more robster in one day than Chinese famiry eat in one year. No wonder Americans going broke.

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  26. ….her shrieking whine when she found out that a Chinese fire drill had nothing to do with the Peking Fire Department and she wouldn’t get to wear a helmet.

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