Straight Line of the Day: China’s Main Complaint About Michelle Obama During Her Visit…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

China’s main complaint about Michelle Obama during her visit…

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  1. …that they couldn’t fit a woman with that big a caboose into a Mao suit.

    …how she wanted to make them eat more vegetables and get more exercise by playing kickball.

    …how she wanted to redecorate the tombs of Mao and Chou En Lai

    …that she wanted to meet the driver of that tank in Tiannamen Square and ask him why he didn’t just run that guy down.

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  2. That she didn’t bring along LeVar Burton, Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner, or any of the other cast members.

    She tried to sneak her bat’leth through customs.

    She insisted on eating her Racht half dead.

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  3. …needed her limo seat to be at least a Yao Ming wide.

    …her mom has caused the next New Years firecrackers to be used up early and she hasn’t even been scared away.

    …constant griping about how skinny the stray dog population is.

    …insisted on visiting Chinatown in each city to get a taste of authentic Chinese culture.

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  4. …flat out insisted she was promised one ton of soup and she was NOT ready fo the main course.

    …insisted on wearing white for tennis games even though she kept getting mounted by a panda.

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  5. …the difficulty in keeping Malia and Sasha distracted while they were reverse engineering the security on Air Force One. ‘We would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids’

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  6. …boy that woman can sure put away gagh!

    …she keeps inadvertently stomping on villages.

    …she keeps calling everyone racist because she hasn’t seen a single black Chinese person (African-Chinese I guess would be the liberal term)

    …Chinese gagh only seems to satisfy her appetite for about an hour.

    …her gift of organic pesticide-free non-GMO vegetables were disappointing, especially since they started rotting before Air Force One even got out of American airspace.

    …kept insisting she wants barbequed panda ribs.

    …eats more calories in 1 meal than entire villages are allocated for a week.

    …doesn’t understand that as a woman, the Chinese were expecting her to just stay in her closet and wait for a man to tell her it’s time ot leave.

    …doesn’t understand that if she were a Chinese citizen she would have been forced by the government to abort both of her daughters…for free.

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  7. … is that she brought a staff of seventy (70!) at taxpayer expense, to stay in a presidential suite that was deemed in December too expensive for Joe Biden to stay in.

    (The Chinese are more sympathetic to me, an American taxpayer, than the Obamas are.)

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  8. …her American Liberal math skills convinced her that this China WOULD fit in the White House china cabinet and kept tying to wrap it in newspaper.

    …kept waiting for Guinness World Record judge to show up for biggest butt kissing ever as 1.4 billion peasants stood by idle, but grimacing.

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