Straight Line of the Day: Joe Biden Went to Poland to “Reassure” Our Allies by…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Joe Biden went to Poland to “reassure” our allies by…

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  1. …joining them in their Cinco de Quattro celebrations.

    There! You ignorant Honkeys! I fixed it!

    Don’t you Ofays know that Biden celebrates the Day of The Five Volkswagens?

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  2. … waving a white flag and eating cheese.
    … hiring Jimmy Carter’s Polish interpreter.
    … promising that John Kerry will never visit.
    … letting them know that Michelle Obama is growing Polish sausage in her garden.

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  3. VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN WILL AS ONLY A MAN OF HIS VAST EXPERIENCE CAN ASSURE OUR POLISH ALLIES THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA (YAYS!!!!!) STANDS BY THEIR SIDE!!!!THUS ASSURING THE POLISH PEOPLE THAT THEY HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT IN THE CRIMEYA!!

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  4. Joe Biden went to Poland to “reassure” our allies by…

    saying America has always stood by the Po’ and if their “land” be threatened, by gum, America will stand by them again! And standing by is what Obama does best!

    promising to cave quickly to Putin’s demands so it wouldn’t “hurt” as much.

    suggesting they install some speed bumps to slow down the Russian tanks.

    promising them all free abortions after they sought asylum in the US.

    foaming at the mouth and falling over backwards.

    promising them they were as important to Obama as any, ANY US ambassador was.

    telling them that once Putin got his Obamacare waiver all would be well.

    reminding them of the mighty ocean which separated them from Russia.

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  5. Joe Biden went to Poland to “reassure” our allies by…

    reminding them that Putin will be too busy gobbling up Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania to get to them before Jan. 20, 2017.

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  6. Joe Biden went to Poland to “reassure” our allies by…

    reminding them that there was abso-frickin-lutely no historic precedent of them every invading Poland or harming the Polish people.

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  7. … standing at the Russo-Polish border and saying “Mr. Putin, tear down this wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    … accidentallly referring to himself as a jelly donut — in English.

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  8. ….stating how “articulate, bright, and clean” he thought the Polish people seemed.

    …saying how Obama was committed to keeping the intercontinental railroad open between Kiev and New York.

    …saying how Obama was brushing up on his Austrian before coming to Warsaw.

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  9. Joe Biden went to Poland to “reassure” our allies by…

    …telling everyone that Barraco Barner wants to give them free healthcare

    …saying, “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”

    …confirming that he personally knew Tevye and Golde

    …offering them our launch codes

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  10. …advising them that if the Russians break into your house to just go out on the porch and fire a shotgun into the air.

    …telling them that any land that has its own national jokes and sausages is good enough to be a pal of Uncle Sam.

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  11. …asking to visit the birthplace of Trixxxie, Heather and Jade, the famous Pole dancers he sees all the time at Spanky’s Roadhouse in Bethesda.

    …proposing a trade deal to buy all their chain saws.

    …slipping into the habitual white Democrat faux “black” accent and saying he too was born in a po’ land.

    …swearing to God he didn’t mean to wear his pants on his head.

    …promising them since only half of them were doomed to die on Putin’s orders, the US would provide 20 million Berlitz Russian language courses next month.

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  12. Joe Biden went to Poland to “reassure” our allies by…

    first being able to actually “Find” Poland all by his lonesome and while there visiting the local African-Polish communities to demonstrate the administration’s solidarity with them.

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  13. @26 Walrus…Your suggestion of installing speed bumps made me flash on the Hungarian Revolution of 1956. The towns people of Budapest discovered that putting brown stoneware dinner plates upside down in the streets would stop the Soviet tank because the tank crews believed them to be land mines. Once stopped, the tanks could be rushed by foot-soldiers.

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