Straight Line of the Day: John Kerry Warned Russia That If They Didn’t Get Out of Urkraine by Monday…

Posted on March 17, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

John Kerry warned Russia that if they didn’t get out of Ukraine by Monday…

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54 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: John Kerry Warned Russia That If They Didn’t Get Out of Urkraine by Monday…”

  1. blarg says:

    …Obama would get America’s finest NEA-funded artists to Photoshop a very hurtful picture of Putin.

    …he would promise Ukraine “if you like your sovereignty, you can keep your sovereignty”

    …he would have that one ship he saw fit to send in and show American presence in the Black Sea force Russia to show Ukraine some rspect.

  2. Jimmy says:

    …he’ll send in Slim Pickens with a Roosky survival kit: “Survival kit contents check. In them you’ll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days’ concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.”

  3. Karen says:

    … he would try extra hard to keep a straight face when saying that there would be consequences.

  4. Karen says:

    … Liberals would start buying bumper stickers that say “Free Ukraine”. (Incidentally, said stickers would be manufactured in Russia, right across the border from the factory where China makes the “Free Tibet” bumper stickers).

    … College students would totally start boycotting nesting dolls.

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