Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Ruled Out Military Action Against Russia. Also Ruled Out…

Posted on March 21, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

President Obama ruled out military action against Russia. Also ruled out…

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34 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Ruled Out Military Action Against Russia. Also Ruled Out…”

  1. Conservatarian says:

    …liberty and justice for all.

  2. Steve H says:

    … any action requiring testosterone (since Michelle in out of country momentarily).

  3. blarg says:

    …eye contact with anyone Russian

    …capitalism

  4. walruskkkch says:

    President Obama ruled out military action against Russia. Also ruled out…

    anything that might conceivably reverse the current situation.

  5. walruskkkch says:

    President Obama ruled out military action against Russia. Also ruled out…

    pointing our fingers at Russia since they might be construed as guns.

  6. walruskkkch says:

    President Obama ruled out military action against Russia. Also ruled out…

    stern glances and furrowed brows.

  7. blarg says:

    …Costal Carolina making it past the 1st round.

  8. Jimmy says:

    Also ruled out…

    …wide-ruled paper.

    …rulers with centimeter marx.

    …Robert’s Rules of Order.

    …getting any work done today.

  9. Gumbeaux says:

    … inviting Putin to the G-8 golf outing.

  10. Conservatarian says:

    …any effective action.

  11. Bob B says:

    …3 AM phone calls (they interfere with Obama’s rest) and 3 PM phone calls (they interrupt his golf game).

  12. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . balancing the budget

    . . . judging people not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character

    . . . protecting the staff in our embassies and consulates

    . . . telling the truth, ever, about anything

    . . . having anybody on the staff capable of doing anything even as difficult as putting gasoline into a car’s tank

  13. Bob B says:

    …invoking “No take backs”.

  14. jw says:

    anything involving dead white guys. such as:

    “…we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor”

  15. Chip says:

    President Obama ruled out military action against Russia. Also ruled out…being clear in any speeches.

  16. Fred Key says:

    …NOT taking military action against tea party groups.

  17. Jimmy says:

    …eating bear claws.

  18. c64wood says:

    President Obama ruled out military action against Russia. Also ruled out…

    …a reduction in spending.

    …allowing people to live their lives in peace.

    …decency

    …NOT having dog for dinner

  19. Burt says:

    …referring to Michelle by her pet ‘boudoir’ name in public ever again. http://youtu.be/8cgk732vfGQ

  20. Karen says:

    … Reacting when they point at him and laugh, that only encourages them.

  21. Burt says:

    …asking more than the 3 cents per acre that Putin has offered for the return of Russian territory currently held by the US.
    http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/sewards-folly

    asking more would just fuel inflation.

  22. Oppo says:

    … any reference to the Obama / Putin standoff as “B.J. and the Bear.” No disrspect to that TV show will be allowed.

  23. Dohtimes says:

    …letting Rocky and Bullwinkle anywhere near Boris or Natasha.

    …any action or words strong enough to be seen as a sign of weakness.

    …most sounds not described as mewling, preferably pathetic mewling.

  24. Burt says:

    …paying the ransom for the return of the astronauts being held hostage on the ISS.

  25. Writer says:

    … sticking out your tongue and going Nyaaaa.

  26. walruskkkch says:

    President Obama ruled out military action against Russia. Also ruled out…

    painting a fake tunnel on the wall of a mountain and having Putin run into it.

  27. walruskkkch says:

    President Obama ruled out military action against Russia. Also ruled out…

    Sending in the A-Team.

  28. Janeane Garofalo says:

    WHAT PRESIDENT OBAMA(YAYS!!!) HAS RULED OUT ANY STOOOOOOOPID MACHO THREATS AND POSTURING OR DOING ANYTHING ELSE THAT WOULD MAKE YOU MINDLESS WARMONGERING GOOFUSES HAPPY!!!PRESIDENT OBAMA(INFINITE YAYS!!!)WILL OUT THINK HIS OPPONENTS(2012 WINGNUT LOOSERS!!!)!!!!!PRESIDENT OBAMA(YAYS!!!!!) WILL WIN THIS CONFLICT JUST LIKE HE WON AGAINST BIN LADEN!!DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!

  29. Burt says:

    OK, I’ll admit. You gotta hand it to JANEANE. No way she’ll ever get it on her own.

  30. walruskkkch says:

    President Obama ruled out military action against Russia. Also ruled out…

    Col. Mustard in the Library with a candlestick.

    (I’ll be curious as to how the left is going to define “winning”.)

  31. Matt says:

    everything but GOLF!

  32. CLIFF says:

    What did Russia do? Its just another phony scandal …..

  33. Dohtimes says:

    …keeping too close a watch on your pic-a-nic basket.

    …removing Moochelles shirtless Putin screen-saver pic.

    …ever treating the Russian military as harshly and demeaning as he does our own.

    …putting his skirt on one leg at a time.

  34. Veritas says:

    ….comparing his mustache to Mooochelle’s

    ….testing his IQ against Barney Frank’s on Jeopardy

    ….explaining how his spending on million day vacations helps income inequality

    ….explaining why no one ever saw him at Columbia.

    ….revealing his secret recipe for grilled dog

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