Straight Line of the Day: Scientists Are Developing “Bionic Plants”, Which May Eventually…

Posted on March 19, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Scientists are developing “bionic plants”, which may eventually…

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38 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Scientists Are Developing “Bionic Plants”, Which May Eventually…”

  1. can of spam says:

    … repel wave after wave of bionic zombies.

  2. can of spam says:

    … lead to the creation of the Six Million Dollar Marzipan.

  3. can of spam says:

    … make a Warforged Druid make sense in D&D.

  4. can of spam says:

    … water their own damn selves.

  5. can of spam says:

    … result in real, honest-to-goodness cookies in web pages.

  6. can of spam says:

    … lead to salad eating YOU! (In Soviet Russia, at least.)

  7. can of spam says:

    … elevate “Audrey II” to godhood.

  8. c64wood says:

    …die because they are being taught that carbon dioxide is pollution. That’s like telling humans that oxygen is pollution.

    …become president

  9. CLIFF says:

    ..eat all the worms and spit out the germs.

  10. can of spam says:

    … turn Apple’s “walled garden” application ecosystem into a literal “walled garden” ecosystem.

  11. can of spam says:

    @10: (While Microsoft Garden 4.0 causes you to have to re-boot your front lawn three times a day.)

  12. can of spam says:

    … deliver a nasty, but overdue, shock to the neighbor’s dog who continues to use my lawn as its latrine.

  13. Bob B says:

    …go on tour with Led Zeppelin cover bands…

  14. AT says:

    … feed thousands of starving robots.

  15. Bob B says:

    …analyze “Day of the Triffids” and “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” for strategic mistakes, and launch a new take-over effort.

  16. dontplayrockytop says:

    …eat all the Vegans!

  17. Jimmy says:

    …eat all assembly language programmers.

  18. Oppo says:

    … lead to RoboCrop.

  19. Oppo says:

    … exhibit amazing stamena.

  20. Bob B says:

    …grow to become two pair of plants

    …spawn a new TV series, “The Six-Gazillion Dollar Larch”

  21. Oppo says:

    … lead to automatoes and cyberries.

  22. walruskkkch says:

    Scientists are developing “bionic plants”, which may eventually…

    replace Joe Biden.

  23. walruskkkch says:

    Scientists are developing “bionic plants”, which may eventually…

    drive vegetarians insane!

  24. walruskkkch says:

    Scientists are developing “bionic plants”, which may eventually…

    rule the world!

  25. Burt says:

    …enter the War of the Olympic Rings, calling themselves the ‘Guy-Ents’.

  26. AT says:

    … be to blame for global warming/cooling/whatever.

  27. blarg says:

    …form a new minority group for politicians to pander to.

  28. FormerHostage says:

    …get their own really cool theme song!

    …be played by Robert Downey Jr. in the movie.

  29. Steve H says:

    @13 – Don’t forget the duet album with Al Lettuce and Crouse

  30. Dohtimes says:

    …lead to using spell check and getting funding for the more sought after bionic pants.

    …result in getting the depressed potatoes to mash themselves.

    …lead to some interesting nuptial announcements in the newspaper and myself never, ever buying anything in the vegetable section at the grocery. To eat.

    …mean an unbroken line of greatest vice presidents ever!!!

    …lead to self fertilizing beans.

    …lead to hipsters wearing tee shirts with ironic who’re the hunter-gatherers now messages.

  31. Oppo says:

    … lead to a cyborganic section at Almost-Whole Foods.

    … inspire a new cliche: “God made all plants. Bionic science made all plants equal.”

  32. Oppo says:

    … give peas a chance.

  33. Oppo says:

    … cause you to dig them up via remote controwel.

  34. Burt says:

    …take over the White House garden and run off the chef. (what’s that??? really??? already???)

  35. Dohtimes says:

    …put it in your pipe and smoke it for you.

    …freak out your cat when you tell your dogwood trees if they don’t like it they can get up and leave.

    …cops getting your grass to grass on you.

  36. Writer says:

    … do things REAL plants won;t do.

  37. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …change Biden’s diapers themselves. -Oh wait, I thought you said bionic pants.

  38. HokieGomer says:

    …lead to self-rolling choom. Barry just kicking a cool $500 million government grant for development.

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